October

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So my crappy day yesterday carried over to a crappy morning this morning. Sigh. At least I can report that my END of the day was good. hehe. If you put my morning from yesterday and my evening from today, the we're all good! Right? hehe.

I woke up at the same time Captain America got ready for PT, and typed up a long email with my feelings, then blogged. At 5:20am, because my head had hurt too bad last night. And I find that typing up my feelings are my most effective means of expressing them.

I was done with my email and my blogging by 6:35am, which is the time that I normally wake up anyway. I read my scriptures and said my prayers and got a little ready, then came out and got the kids ready at 7:00am. And to the bus by 7:30am.

Captain America came home around that time, and we continued our fight from the night before. Sigh. I hate fighting. It takes SO much out of me. We missed our meeting with Toms teacher at 8:15am. Oops. I'll have to write her a note and send it to school with Tom tomorrow saying we had a "family issue", and see if we can reschedule for next week. Sigh.

Captain America went to work around 9am, and after I regained some composure, I designed. Because Thursday night is my deadline, and designing is a good release for me. I already had 2 WordArt packs complete, and I got the remaining 3 done. Yeah me :)

I had a one on one therapy appointment at noon with my doctor, but REALLY didn't want to go. And I knew that I should. But I didn't want to. Because I hate crying in front of people, and I KNEW that they'd be tears. I threw on some clothes, put on a bandana, put on my contacts, and off I went. Yeah, I looked like crap, but I didn't care. I felt like crap too, so it was all good :)

I'd gotten Jimmy to the bus before I left, and at 11:30am I headed to the West Side. And I even got there with 5 minutes to spare. I sat in the waiting room, and read my emails. And some blog comments, which were very nice and supportive.

Finally, the doctor came out. And was very excited to see me, because he didn't think that I was gonna show up either. hehe. Yeah, even HE knew how bad of a mood I was in yesterday... LOL :)

Anyway, I went back, and we talked for about an hour and a half. Yeah, mostly he talked and I cried. Stupid crying. But I did feel a tad bit better when I left. A tad. And then it got better from there. Thank goodness! I couldn't handle another bad day.

So part of my "homework" is to analyze a situation from the day using the "choice cycle" thingy. Yeah, I can't remember the technical name for it, but here it goes.

First, you have an Event. Lets see.... I go to Walmart to buy candy corns, but Walmart is out of candy corns. OK, there's my event. Now, I assign a meaning to that event, which comes with a feeling. And you do that 3 times.

First meaning, Walmart sucks, which makes me feel irritated. And now I have to pick 3 actions to do. I can complain to the manager that there is NEVER what I need from Walmart. I can throw a fit in the middle of the isle (somedays, that WOULD be nice...). I can go to a different store all together to look for candy corns.

Second meaning, everyone else wants to make the SAME wreath that I want to make, which makes me feel anxious, because there may not be any candy corns left ANYWHERE. Three actions. I can leave that Walmart fast and drive to another Walmart to look for candy corns. I can go to a different store to look for candy corn. I can decide that I'm never gonna find candy corns, and give up.

Third meaning, I'm never gonna find candy corns, which makes me feel hopeless. Three actions. I can cancel my craft party because I'll never find candy corns. I can call a friend and ask for suggestions of where to find the candy corns. I can pray to find more candy corns.

Anyway, you see the pattern, right? I'm supposed to be doing this every day until we meet again as a couple. It's to open your mind to more possibilities of choices. Not just the same bad reactions over and over again. See how many possibilities I had from that ONE event.

Anyway, I got my homework from the doctor, the things that I'm supposed to be working on for the week, and off I went. I drove down Mesa, and headed to Walmart. And low and behold, they were out of candy corns. And what did I do? Well, first I went to Hobby Lobby. Because it was right down the road. And looked for wreaths. And yeah, they had no white styrofoam wreaths. Whaaaaaat? I knew that I'd bought them there before. Sigh. I was starting to get a bit anxious.

But I told myself to calm down, and I drove back across town, and went to the dollar tree, and looked for wreaths. My mom had suggested that. And they had little green crafting wreaths. You know the ones that you put flower in? The ones that fall apart if you grab them too hard? Yeah, that one. hehe.

I bought 8 of them. And a few other things from the dollar tree. Then headed to a different Walmart that was on the way home. And, thank goodness, THEY had candy corns. The orange and yellow and white ones. Not the Indian Corns that had brown in them. I didn't want those. And I got some ribbons. And some more glue sticks. Now I was all set.

So I drove home, and Jake and Jimmy and I built a Candy Corn wreath for an example for tomorrow. Wanna see it?


I think that they turned out SUPER cute. And it only cost about $4 to make. Not too bad, huh? Jake helped me continue gluing the candies on when I had to go and pick up Tom and Eme and Veronicas girl, Bella, from AQ. We're taking turns getting the kids. I'm on Tuesday and Thursdays.

And we finished off the wreath, and started on dinner. My headache was back (yeah, crying is NOT good for migraines), so I took a pill, and started to feel better. And better emotionally, too. I really was excited to see Captain America when he got home from work. Really excited. I was ready to NOT be upset anymore, and put it all behind me :)

I fed the kids dinner, got myself some food, and loaded my store real fast. I'd already designed everything, so it was pretty quick to load it up. Captain America and I hung out on the back porch for a while, and it was super nice and relaxing.

We put the kids to bed at 8pm, and he and I headed out to the mall. He needed more vitamins from Vitamin world. And I needed a few more supplies for my wreaths. I'd run out of ribbon and black spray paint.

We got the vitamins at the mall, then headed to Walmart. We had about 6 things on the list, and managed to get them all. Then headed back home. Kids were all asleep, and I sat down to blog and design a freebie. And the old laptop was going SOOOO slow that I eventually had to turn it off, and get on my 46 inch laptop. Sigh. I wanted to blog/design from bed, but here I sit in the living room. Oh well. I'm almost done now.

Anyway, I'm super tired. It's 10:33pm, and since I got up at 5:20am, I'm beat. I KNOW that tomorrow is gonna be a great day :) Because I'm gonna choose for it to be so. I have 5-6 of my girls coming over to my house at 9am to work on wreaths in the morning. I bought donuts at Walmart last night for the craft party! Should be a good time :)

Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work. Thanks!

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