I'm Retiring

Yup.  It's that time.  I'm retiring.  I hate to do it.  But it's been a long time coming.  CPT and I have really tried to make it work, but yeah, it's not working.  And I don't have the time or mental energy to devote to Scrapbookgraphics to make it work like the owner needs.  So I'm retiring.  Hopefully in a year or so I will be back to normal and 100% and back into the designing scene!  I hope.  That's my goal.  Who knows where I will be in a year, right?

Anyway, I've always had social anxiety and been a pleaser person.  I've blogged about this before.  Then about 3 years ago, I had the stint in the mental hospital for depression, where they put me on anti-depressants.  Which fixed the social anxiety.  And when CPT deployed, I spent the year in therapy, fixing myself.  I knew I had a lot to work on.  And I felt that I learned and grew SO much. 

So he comes home, and I'm a different person.  A better person.  A stronger person.  One who won't put up with his controlling and critical and mean ways.  And we fought all of 2012.  Horribly.  By Christmas, I knew it couldn't continue.  I told him that we either went to mariage counseling, or it was done.  He agreed.

And after months of counseling and processing a near affair (no sex, but close) on my part back in 2010 (which he never forgave me for and brought up weekly ever since) and working on communication, I put it to him frankly.  Get individual help.  Treat me with kindness.  Stop being critical.  Stop being controlling.  Or I want a divorce.  We had a few more HUGE fights, and he kicked the kids and I out.  I finally got the bishop to convince him to move out instead, but he needed a week to get his things together.  Whatever.....

Luckily, Ms Elaine, my bestie, let us stay with her.  She has 3 kids my kids ages, and her hubby is deployed.  She has her own house in the NE area, and she is SUPER awesome.  Very laid back like me.  Anyway, after being there for a week, she invited us to stay till her hubby came back in November.  Yeah, better than both families being alone.  Plus it would give me time to save money for a rental when the time came.

I know that I wasn't perfect in my marriage.  I know that I had things that I did wrong.  I did try, though.  I gave it my all.  In June, it will be 17 years.  In the end of July, the divorce will most likely be final.  Our therapist says that CPT looks at the kids and I as an extension of himself.  And he can't figure out why he can't perfect us.  He doesn't understand why it doesn't work.  And it frustrates him to no end.  She also said that when I told him I wanted a divorce (if he didn't work on himself), that it opened a narcissistic wound inside of him.

Things are bad between us right now.  He has our savings from the tax return.  He used it for an attorney.  I have what little he decides to give me.  I'm trying to get all of our things moved out of the house on post by myself.  And find a job.  And find an attorney with no money.  And do 500 million other things while raising 5 children, one of whom is mentally ill. 

So yeah.  That's why I don't have the time or the mental energy right now to devote to my store.  As much as I would like to.  BUT, you can go and take a gander at my store!  It's 60% off, and won't be available for a LONG time.  So get it while you can!!!!  Click HERE to go to my store.

I love you guys, and will miss you :)  BIG HUGS!!!!!

Hey Guys! Freebie

Hey guys!  Ha!  Just like the WordArt, right?  hehe.  So I didn't blog yesterday, because I was out on a date with my husband.  And I figured that was worthy of no blogging, right?  Am I right?  hehe.

I told you that we've been having a rough patch.  Well, I believe that when you have a question, you should pray about it.  Ponder it.  Formulate you own answer in your mind, then pray about whether or not that answer is the right one.  How else will you know if it's correct, right?

So, my question on Friday night was, should I stay with CPT.  I was tired of all of the crap.  All of the fighting.  And I tested out the "leave" option.  I prayed about it.  About making up my mind to go.  And ALL weekend long I felt like crap.  Sick, headaches, down in the dumps, unmotivated to do anything, a-social (because anti-social is what Jake is - hehe), weepy, broken hearted.  Yeah, not liking the feelings that came with the testing out of the choice to leave.

Sunday, we had Stake Conference.  I blogged about that already, and how it was cancelled, and we went home early.  And had the rest of the day at home.  And I felt horrible.  I took some cold meds, and ended up sleeping on the couch most of the day.  CPT played board games (RISK) with the kids, and they had SUCH a wonderful time.  I  really like watching his positively interract with the kids.

Jake volunteered to clean the backyard.  It was one of the things that we were dinged on from housing.  CPT and the kids got a fire going in our fire pit, and burned a lot of the wood laying around.  Jake put in a lot of work, and the backyard looked SO much better when he was done.

At the end of Sunday, right before I went to bed, I pondered on my experience over the weekend.  It was an answer to my prayer.  I am a very feeling based person.  Emotion based.  Whereas CPT is logical.  Thinking.  When I pray, I get answers through emotions.  I feel a certain way.  When we were looking to buy our house in Chicago/Joliet area, I was sick the whole day, EXCEPT for the time that we looked at the house that we bought.  I felt that that meant that we were to buy our house that we bought.

So, because I prayed to know if my choice was right or not, and I felt extremely crappy and uncomfortable and unhappy all weekend long, I KNEW it was the wrong answer.  I went back to my room, and prayed again.  This time about staying.  About renewing my commitment to make it work.  To trying harder.  To doing whatever I could to make this marriage good again.  And I knew that it would be ok.  I still kinda felt sick.  I knew that wouldn't instantly go away.  But my heart felt less troubled.  And my anxiety went away.  I felt less sad.  I felt comforted.  It was definitely an answer to prayer!

CPT was deep in a game of RISK with 3 of the kids, and I didn't wanna bother him.  I was about ready to pass out because of my cold meds (and it was my bedtime), so I typed him up a quick email with my apologizes for the weekend and my prayer experience, and I went to bed.

Monday, the kids had the day off, and so did CPT.  I had a 9am with our therapist.  I told her about my experience, and she was very understanding.  She thinks its great that we are so devoted to our religion.  I don't know how many active members of the "Mormon" faith that she's known :)  Our faith is important to us!

Anyway, she told me that it took us 16 years to dig ourselves into the mess of a marriage that we made (very true), and a few counseling sessions will not dig our way out.  It's gonna take a lot of time and effort and sweat and tears and clawing our way out.  OK, I can buy that.  Makes sense.  She said we will have to fight tooth and nail to save this marriage.

We didn't know each other when we got married.  Not at all.  I made CPT my life for years and years and years.  Not his fault, not my fault, just what we did.  And when I got on my meds, I broke free from that.  I found that I could have my own personality and life.  But I cut him out.   And now I have to find a way to let him back in.  And it's gonna take work.  On both of our parts.  Me letting him in, and him not getting offended he isn't my whole world.  Paradigm shift.

Anyway, before I'd left for therapy, I'd asked him if he wanted to go on a "date" with me, and he said yes.  When I got home, he was exercising, and as soon as he got home and showered, we headed out.  The kids started on lunch, and had big plans for games and movies and such for the day.  hehe.

First, we went to Jasons Deli for lunch.  SUPER yummy!  Love it!  He had a Reuben with extra meat, and I had a California Chicken something or another on a croissant with a side salad.  LOVE that place.  Next, we went to see Beautiful Creatures in the movies.  NEVER heard of that one before my mom said she went to see it on Friday.  It was really good.  So it's a book series?  Should I read it???

Next, we went to Michaels to get a frame for a drawing that CPT had done for a going away gift for a guy in his unit.  He needed to finish it tonight.  He does such a good job.  Then, we headed home.

And we got there just in time.  There was a slight melt down going on.  Jake and Joe.  But we caught it just in time.  The internet wasn't working, so I couldn't get the texts from the kids' iPods telling me that there was some tension.  We called Time Warner to get it straightened out, and got a run around.  It was the Router.  No it's the Modem.  No its the internet.  Sigh.  Get it straightened out, people!

Anyway,  CPT and I ended up having a really good day together.  He's still a bit "guarded" with me.  Lois, the therapist, said that he would be.  He's afraid of emotions.  He keeps it in the intellectual realm.  She said for me to pretend that I don't notice it, and try and connect with him on an intellectual level.  Because I was gonna have to put myself out there first.  And I could do that.

We talked about his "OCD" stuff.  And just having her acknowledge it helped.  The fact that I'm not crazy and imagining it goes a LONG way.  She said that we have to get the relationship good before we can work on it, though.  I'm cool with that.  I can do that.  As long as I can see the hope in the future.  That's all I need :)

Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work.  Thanks!

4shared

box.net

Cool Chic Freebie

Hey again!  So it's Sunday today.  Stake Conference, to be exact.  And we were supposed to go to our Home Ward building to catch the conference on the Satellite.  Apparently it was one of those multi-stake things.  Well, there were technical difficulties.  No conference for us.  Those poor men were working SO hard to get the feed up and running.

Kind of reminded me of when, as a child, there was an elderly woman at church, who was giving a talk, or bearing her testimony (something like that - could have even been an enrichment meeting in the chapel), and fell on the stand and hurt herself.  They had to call the paramedics.  And the other old ladies were so panicked, that they started singing hymns SO loud that the paramedics couldn't hear what was going on.  Comical, to say the least. 

Well, that's what today reminded me of.  The bishop was up there on the cell phone, trying to get instructions on how to fix the feed, and we were singing hymns, trying to keep the congregation in check (room full of people with nothing to do).  All I could do was giggle.

Anyway, 30 minutes after 9am (when it was supposed to start), they called it.  We could drive 30 minutes across town to the Stake Center to catch the rest of the 2 hour conference, or go home.  Since I didn't have enough gas to get there, and since we'd already come to church, I decided to take everyone home.  CPT didn't feel like putting in any input (I think he was trying to prove a point or something?), so I drove us home.  Kids were super excited.  Shortest church ever, AND it totally counted.  hehe.

We all changed out of our Sunday clothes, and I baked some cookies.  With on sale Valentines M&M's that I'd got at the Commissary yesterday.  Oh yeah.  Here's the recipe that I've been using for my chocolate chip cookies as of late.  It's a good one.

3/4 cup of butter
3/4 cup of brown sugar
1/4 cup of white sugar

mix together

add

1 egg
2 tsp vanilla

add

2  cups flour
2 tsp corn starch (secret ingredient!)
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

add 1 package chocolate chips, or M&M, or whatever you want

Yeah, I've been making these a lot.  I just recited this to you from memory.  No wonder I've gained so much weight!  LOL.  Fat and happy, fat and happy.  Well, fat, anyway.  ROFL!

Bake at 350 for 7 or 8 minutes.  Under bake them and let them sit on the oven.  The seem to keep their shape very well, and be squishy and delicious in the middle!  LOVE them so much.  This recipe makes 3-4 dozen.

And here we are.  Almost 11 am on Sunday.  And that's why we go to church.  Ha!  Because otherwise we have a WHOLE day with kids and we can't do anything at all with them.  ROFL!  No really, if you are LDS, you understand :P 

I've done a lot of soul searching these last 2 days.  And I don't really know what I've come up with as an answer.  I haven't had a happy weekend.  My soul is sad.  And confused.  And downtrodden.  Is that an answer?  I don't know.  I see our therapist on Monday morning at 9am.  I'm gonna discuss things with her.  She is a very wise woman. 

Anyway, I wanted to do a list of sorts.  A random fact/recent happenings/ramblings of my mind kind of list.  I thought it would be kinda fun.  So, here goes nothing!

1.  My christmas garland is still up in the living room and I like it.
2.  I've been having to get on Jacob for using the communal electric razor on his pubes!!!
3.  I got purple highlights last month.
4.  Jim has a faux hawk.
5.  The woman at the beauty school who first cut Eme's hair in a Stacked Bob now lives by my friend, Leanne, and came to lunch with us last week!  What a SMALL world.  She was showing Leanne her haircut book, and there was Emeline!  hehe.
6.  I got a ticket on post for coming to an 85% stop.  Does that last 15% really matter???  Sigh.
7.  We went to Ft Hood between Christmas and New Years to see my sister, my parents, and Ms. Kim!  It was a ton of fun!
8.  There is now a Miche shell called Bethany!!!!  I like to think it was named after me! 
9.  I am now watching Arrow, Once Upon a Time, Revenge, Dr Who, Breaking Bad, Vampire Diaries, Supernatural, Bones, Walking Dead, How I Met Your Mother, Glee, Touch, Fringe, Grimm.  Dang, how did I get so many shows all of a sudden?  I thought it was just a few....
10.  I can't think of a number 10 right now....  So you get 9.  lol.

Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work.  Thanks!

4shared

box.net

The Gift of Family Freebie

Hey there, girls.  Shocker, I know.  I'm giving blogging a shot again.  I really miss is.  But I don't know how hard it is gonna be to get back into it.  I did my taxes a few days ago, and my income decreased by 2/3!!  Just from stopping blogging.  Wow, huh!  So here it goes again.

I went to lunch with the kids today.  I'd been baking homemade treats for them all year long, but the school FINALLY decided to crack down on it last week.  So no more homemade goodies.  Which freed up my morning, but was disappointing.  I did like chatting with my kiddos, though.

Julia and Corby were there to eat with their kids, and Tom and Maggie were there to eat with there kids.  Which was hard.  Because I was by myself.  Sometimes I feel sorry for myself.  I need to snap out of it, I guess.  CPT and I are having a rough patch.  And I'm not sure if we are going to snap out of it or not.  I can't make someone like me.  I really can't.  And would I even WANT to force someone to like me?  No, I don't think I would.  But I'm about done with the whole situation.  If something doesn't change, I may make some permanent changes myself.

Anyway, since it was an Army 4 day holiday, watching the happy couples at lunch was kinda hard.  But I tried to ignore it, and chatted with the kids.  Then came back home after.  And worked on my computer.  It's been freaking out lately.  It's been trying to update, and then I have to restart it to make it to work right again.  Sigh.  So after about an hour, and a system restore, I got it going again.  And here I am, blogging.

Good news, Jake is doing good.  He is managing quite well.  His therapist is VERY impressed with his progress.  He does therapy once a week, and is learning how to manage people the right way.  Tom and Joe are in therapy once every few weeks, and things seem to good. 

Joe and Tom are both in Hockey.  Eme is in Piano.  We do Scouts on Wednesday.  I'm going to play with the girls about once a week.  And CPT and I fight a lot.  Other than that, that's my life.  Oh yeah, and I'm watching a lot of Bones.  That show is great.  I like it.  I don't know why I didn't start watching it sooner.  hehe.

Man, I sound like such a downer!  I hate that.  I wanna be a ray of sunshine.  I want to be happy, and spread happiness.  And I know that I have the potential of being that way.  It's inside of me.  I know it is.  But it isn't today.  I just feel like crying.  Sigh.  Deep breaths.  Some of my friends from church are going to a support group for "deployed spouses" and I was invited and thought might go tonight.  Tom is old enough to babysit.  At least then I can be around people who like me.  Maybe that's what I need, some positiveness.  Some laughter.  Some happiness.  Sitting at home and feeling down isn't working out so well for me :)

Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work.  Thanks!

4shared

box.net

Forever.

Hey there!  First off, here's the new stuff for the week.  2 brand new wordart packs this week!  Woohoo!

Click HERE to go to the Store

by Sharon

by Henriëtte

Click HERE to go to my store

 by Henriëtte

by Sharon

Well, here we go.  A backwords recap of the week.  So today, I got the kids ready for school, and did a little living room cleaning while I watched Breaking Dawn part 1.  I moved the couches and swept real good and even mopped.  Which is quite a feat, because I have been having MASSIVE migraines as of late.  Anyway, my meds were somewhat working, and it wasn't that tiring.  So the living room kinda got done.

At 9:15am, Julia came and picked me up, and we headed to the Transmountain movie theater, and we bought tickets for Breaking Dawn part 2!!!  We were excited!  I had joked last year that we would go "if we were the last two people at Ft Bliss".  It sounded bad, but she knew what I meant.  And yeah, we WERE the last two people at Ft Bliss.  hehe.

Leanne met us there too, so really, we were a group of 3.  hehe.  It was a WONDERFUL movie!  I really enjoyed it!  DEFINITELY go see it.  Great way to finish off the movies ;)

After the movie, Leanne went home, and Julia and I went to Olive Garden for lunch.  And met Maggie and Hannah there.  And then I remembered to click some photos.  I've been bad as of late.  Here's me and Maggie.

And Julia and I

Julia making a face at me.  Apparently I take bad photos of people, and they get perturbed when I post them on Facebook.  Gesh!  Where's your sense of adventure???

Me and my water.  I figured between my DDP at the movie (I smuggled one in) and all of the Excedrine migraine I've been popping, I'd had enough caffeine.

Yesterday, Eme was sick and stayed home from school.  I had a migraine, and Julia had a stomach bug.  We spent the day at Maggie's house chilling and watching movies.  And dealing with her stolen iPhone.  Story to follow.  Anyway, here's Eme with Maggie's bird.  Which grosses Julia out, because of her bird phobia.  LOL.  She's a germ-a-phob!  hehe.

And that evening, after the headache cleared with the meds (I have 90 minute windows of feeling good periodically during the day), I cleaned the dining room.  Because it had been TRASHED for weeks.  Utterly trashed.  Seriously.  You wouldn't have wanted to have seen the photos....

So here's the story.  On Wednesday, after my morning stress group, I took Tom with me to family Therapy with Jake.  CPT couldn't make it, and the therapist thought it would be a good idea to have Jake and Tom talk.  Sounded good to me.  Anyway, therapy was at 1pm on the West side.

It went well for the most part.  Jake apologized for stealing his money, and Tom said that Jake seemed to have changed and seemed like a cool guy to hang out with.  So after therapy, Tom and I headed to Bassett Center to meet Julia and Maggie and Hannah.  We finally caught up with them around 2:45pm.

We went to Bath and Body works, and I picked out a ton of stuff I wanted, then realized that I left my debit card in the car.  Drat!  So I ditched it.  Then we went to another store to look around, and I did the same thing!  Talk about scatter brain!  lol.

In the Melrose clothes store, Hannah (4) wanted to show me a photo on Maggie's iPhone 5, and that's the last time that Maggie remembers seeing the phone.  We parted ways and headed back to the bus stop.  I passed her at the stop light heading towards post, and she said she'd lost her phone and was going to look for it.  I said I'd get Jake.

We don't know what happened to the phone.  We really don't.  I called it.  No answer.  Straight to voice mail.  NOT a good sign.  Someone took it.  Someone knew enough to power it off.  Ooooo, thiefs make me mad!

Finally, she came back home devastated.  She was crying and sobbing.  We were all at the park with the kids.  She grabbed her iPad and enabled "Track My Phone".  And it actually showed up!  Across town!  Up by the mountains!

She used my phone and Julia's phone to call around to her hubby (in the field) and the police and her phone company and such to find out what she should do.  They locked the phone and she called the police.  They told her to get within 3 blocks of the phone, and call them back.  The officer made it sound routine.

So I sent my kids home, had Tom babysit, and Maggie and her kids and I headed out for a "sting" operation to get the phone back!  We followed the "track my phone" app on her iPad, and unfortunately, it led us to an apartment complex.  Drat!

She called the police back, and this time, got a Woman detective.  Who was awful.  She was like, Um, what do you want us to do, knock on every door???  Poor Maggie.  She said, "No, but I'm just doing what I was directed to do by the first officer".  The woman scoffed at her.  SOOOO rude.  The woman on the phone had the nerve to tell her to go knock on doors, and if it came down to a physical violent altercation, to call 911.  Um, yeah, sounds like a good plan.... NOT!

We let the apartment manager know what we were doing, and she was SUPER excited about it.  She even came and walked around for a little while with Maggie.  I guarded the kids in the car.  But it was no luck.  The app just wasn't specific enough.  So we headed back home, Maggie just crestfallen.

I went to Cub Scouts that night with a MASSIVE migraine.  I'd medicated myself when I got home, around 6pm, and I was SO hurting.  I had CPT drive us, and luckily, Sister Caldwell was our guest teacher.  So I just had to crowd control.  About 20 minutes into it, my meds kicked in.

Anyway, the next day (the day with Eme and the bird on her shoulder), my migraine is still there.  But I take meds, and get the kids to the bus, and go with them.  Looking all hot and sexy.  With unfixed hair and a blanket and junk.  And hop in Maggie's car, and we decide to go back to the apartments.  Because Maggie has found an aerial view of the map!  Which looks like it's narrowed it down to 3 apartments!  Much better odds!

Here's what Maggie and I look like.  Oh yeah, we are DANGEROUSLY scary!

So we get to the apartments, and we know it's either the top apartment, middle, or bottom.  From the picture, it HAS to be.  So we knock on the top door.  It's a young German girl.  She is abrupt, but nice enough.  She knows nothing.  We've invented enough of an "out" for the thief to save face and give the phone back.  "I lost my phone at Bassett Center.  Do you suppose that your toddler may have picked it up by accident?  We are offering a reward.  Please help us".  Nope.  Dang it!  So we leave a note on the other two doors, because there is no answer there...

Anyway, eventually that day, the other 2 tenants call us back, and they know nothing about the phone either.  Sigh.  And the phone hasn't shown up on "Track my Phone" again either.  So it's gone.  I suggest to Maggie to call USAA insurance, and see if it's covered on Renters.  And after about an hour on the phone, she finds out it is!  Because she didn't actually see Hannah set it down, they are saying that it was Stolen!  She just has to pay a $250 co-pay, and it's to be replaced!  She was SO relieved.  Because those babies are $850 brand new!  Anyway, that's the saga of the cell phone.

Here's is a picture from Tuesday.  That morning, Julia, Maggie, Hannah and i had gone to the movies to see "Trouble with the Curve".   GREAT movie!  Who knew that Justin Timberlake with whiskers was SUCH a hottie!  Mmmmm!

I was texting Kari at one point, and we decided that we needed to celebrate something that day.  And it was between World Kindness day and Indian Pudding day.  And yeah, Indian Pudding sounds SO much better than me being nice to people.  hehe.  So Eme and I made Indian Pudding from scratch!

Here's the recipe.  And yeah, I DID go and deliver bowls to Julia's family and to Maggie's family, so I may have been NICE too.... hehe.  We used the cool whip and the raisins.

Me at Walmart.  I LOVED this bearded hat!  hehe :)

Oh yeah!  I cut bangs!  What do you think???  I thought they were nice :)

After having been in the 70's, it dipped down to the 30/40's.  Jim thought he was gonna FREEZE!  He came bundled up for the bus like this.  He told me he wanted to move some place warm.  LOL.  I didn't have the heart to tell him THIS was the warmer place :)

So yeah, that was my week.  Hockey practice, church, piano lessons, movies, cleaning, shopping, phone drama,  lots of therapy appointments, play dates, migraines, and all sorts of stuff.  It was a busy week.  And now it's Friday night.  I'm waiting for CPT to come home.  We are going on a date.  Tom is babysitting.  Thank goodness!  I don't know what we are doing, but it should be good because we are together.  We are doing better.  He's decided to stop being so serious about everything, and just let some things go.  And it's really helping :)

Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work.  Thanks!

4shared

box.net

Just Relax Freebie

 

  Click HERE to go to the store

Click HERE to go to the store

New stuff up there!  Go check it out, I KNOW you will love it!  hehe.  So, where to begin.  My pictures loaded out of order, so you get the backwards version.  Today is Thursday.  After getting kids off on the bus, I went to Julia's house and tried to teach Maggie and Julia to crochet.  I'm a lefty, and they are right handed, so they did everything opposite of me.  Yeah, that was comical.  hehe.

But we had fun chatting and hanging out.  Right as I was about to leave for an appointment, Julia's dad came over with DUNKIN DONUTS!!!  Super dad, I know!  Julia was gonna take him to the airport.  I managed to get a Boston Cream one before I left.

I went to the school and got Joe, and we headed to the West side, making it just a few minutes late.  I need to work on my tardy skills.  Or my non tardy skills, I guess.  I crocheted while Joe therapied.  I really like Ms Nance.  She's awesome. 

We swung by Savers to donate the crap in the back of my Suburban, then we swung by McDonalds drive thru, then headed back to school.  I signed Joe back in, and headed back home.  Just in time for Maggie and Julia (and Hannah now too) to pick me up.  And we all headed to Costco for lunch.

Since I'd already eaten, I just got a soda and and ice cream.  The girls got some REALLY yummy smelling grilled turkey sandwich thing.  I wanted one, but I'd already eaten.  NEXT time!

Next, we headed into Bassett mall.  Julia needed something from Target.  I found a super cute dress for $12.50, but decided against it.  Then it was on to Bath and Body works.  I almost got some lotion, but decided against that too.  Sigh.

Then the girls dropped me off at an appointment that CPT and I had.  Marriage counseling.  The dude is moving next week.  I want to go see Ms. Nance, but CPT doesn't think that we need anymore counseling.  Sigh.  How do you convince someone to go get counseling?  I don't want my marriage to be this way anymore.  We just fight all the time...

Anyway, CPT dropped me off at the bus stop, and I chatted with the girls for a couple of minutes before the bus came.  Then home we headed.  CPT was home, and we argued for about an hour before I couldn't take it anymore.  So here I am, loading me store and blogging.  Sigh.  

Now lets work backwards with some of these pictures....

Here's me on Election day.  I voted for the other guy

We pulled Tom out of class on his Birthday during lunch, and took him to Carlos and Mickey's.  He was SO happy and excited to eat lunch with mom and dad and their old people friends!!!

Yeah, I'm naughty, I know.  But I wonder how many people giggled...  This is at Target.

Lifesized nutcracker at Costco.  Julia has a membership, so I get to go a lot!

Trick or Treating in the neighborhood.  Zombie Farmer, Vampire, Civil War Dude, and Red Coat boy

 CPT and Batman

Zombie Lovers

 This was my face paint on Halloween Day.  I went to all of my appointments this way!  LOL

We went for a weekend trip to see Jake in October.  He was doing really well, actually.  He comes back after Thanksgiving, because the insurance runs out.  We want him to believe that it's because we are letting him come home, not because we have no other options.  Anyway, he got an off campus pass, and we took him shopping.  He really liked this leather jacket.  Isn't he handsome?

CPT and Jacob at the Movie theater, playing video games

Jake and I

This was my costume for the Ward Halloween Party.  Zombie!  Yeah, I like zombies.  I freaked kids out, and LOVED it :)

Tom won 1st place in the chili cookoff for church!  Way to go, Tom!!!

And yeah, that's kind of a pictorial journal of what's been up in our house.  Lots of homework and therapy appointments and errands.  And I've been watching lots of TV on my phone.  Breaking Bad is my new guilty pleasure.  I also like Revenge, Supernatural, Once Upon a Time, and Walking Dead.  I think those are the only ones that I'm currently obsessively following.  

Oh yeah, and we're switching around the kids' rooms again.  Tom is moving downstairs, and Joe and Jim are going upstairs.  And it's a FOREVER project.  My house is so trashed in the mean times.  I need a few days to just focus on it.  Too bad I don't have a few days....

I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on it all.  I really am.  But I find myself getting down a lot.  Finding it harder to look on the bright side.  Finding it easier to just wanna watch TV all day long.  And I know that is bad.  And I think I could even handle the Jacob situation, if I didn't have the marriage problems.  Or I could handle the marriage problems if I didn't have the Jacob problems.  You know what I mean.  I just find myself overwhelmed.  

Ok, so I'll stop complaining.  At least I'm good at taking my meds, right?  I never miss on those.  Because THAT would really mess things up.  LOL ;)

Click on the links below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work.  Thanks!

4shared

box.net

Monster Math Night at School

Hey, you guys!  I'm giving it a second change :)  It helps when your "boss" gives you a gentle nudge to do so.  hehe.  LOVE Maya.  She's a great lady, and I'm glad that she did.  I need to get back to designing.  And blogging is part of my process.  So here we go.

But first, here are 2 of my new wordart packs for the week!!!  Get excited!!!

Leaves 3 WordArt Pack

Halloween 8 WordArt Pack

I really can't even remember when the last time that I consistently blogged was.  Or what was going on.  I know that we were having Jake troubles.  Of course.  And yeah, we still are.  He's in a treatment center.  And only has a month left.  And we can't find a place to send him after.  Because no one will take him.  Because of his condition.  Sigh.  It's just one big struggle.

So our new strategy is to convince him that we WANT to give him another chance.  Have him thinking that he is home on OUR terms.  Then, at the first terroristic threat or aggressive behavior, we call the MP's and they take him to the mental hospital, and Medicaid pays for it.  We got him declared Disabled over the summer, and on Medicaid.  So that was good.  We have a plan, even if it's gonna be tricky.

So there's an update on that.  That happens right before Thanksgiving.  And CPT is going on a training.  So it'll be tricky.  We need to get the house all prepared for that.  We are working closely with the therapist to get a contract worked out between all parties.

A lot of my friends moved.  It was so sad.  But I've made some new ones, and there are some still here.  I'm hanging out with Julia every day.  And I see Laura, and Charlotte, and Maggie, Elaine, Leanne, Chelsey, Lesa, and Maria.  Yeah, I know there are more.  hehe.  Anyway, kids are in school, and I keep busy during the days.  Because if I didn't, I would just sleep.  That's what my meds do to me!  LOL. 

I have family therapy for Jacob once a week.  We do lunch at the school with the kids every Friday.  Joe is in Hockey.  Eme has piano on Tuesdays.  I am the den leader for Joe's den, and we do that on Wednesday.  Anyway, I can't go and catch you up on everything.  That would take forever...  Lets just pretend that I never stopped.  hehe.  Let's just pretend that you know what I've been up to.  ROFL!

So today, I got up and got the kids ready.  I now get up at 6:30am.  Because I help the kids get ready.  Instead of sleeping on the couch.  See, I've improved.  hehe.  I make sure that they have good clothes on (usually ones that I picked out the night before), and we get breakfast from the menu (we're back on a menu!).   Tom leaves at 7am, and the other kids go to the bus stop at 7:15am.  I go sometimes, and other times, I let Emeline supervise.  She IS a 5th grader this year, you know!

Today was Crazy hair day, so we use my SUPER sticky hair goo for Eme's hair.  She looked super fantastic!  Such a cutie!  Jim?  He doesn't have much hair, so when he asked to have a mohawk, I tried not to laugh.  I settled for face paint crayons in his blond hair.  hehe.  I thought it was cute :)

And KIM is at my house!!!  She had a doctors appoint at the VA hospital here in El Paso that couldn't be taken care of at Ft Hood, and flew in yesterday.  So we got ready for her appointment, picked up Julia, and headed to the hospital.

She was hurting, because she had to fast, and couldn't take her meds.  Poor thing.  She headed off to her appointment, and Julia and I hung in the waiting room, and cut out paper stuff for the "Monster Math" Halloween party that evening.  Julia had gotten roped into helping.  hehe.

After a while, we were done, and headed over to the main hospital cafeteria for a bit to eat.  We got chicken wraps.  They were super yummy.  We ate and chatted, telling stories from our lives, and then Kim was done.

We headed stopped by Julia's house to get her jacket, and then we went to Rainbow Fountain for Kim to get a shrimp cocktail!!!!  Remember those?  I'm SURE I blogged about those.  They are da bomb!!!

This is us, posing in front of the sign.  See how happy we are.  That's because I made my Suburban fit in the parking spot.  We all clapped.  The girl walking by thought we were quite funny....  hehe.  I live to amuse.

Julia and I got smoothies instead of food, because we were SO full.  I got Mango, and she got strawberry.  Yums!  We sat and ate and chatted, then headed to Bassett and the Jewelry Box.  You KNEW that was coming next, right???

Kim got a few things, Julia got a few things, and I abstained.  I know, right?  I am showing self restraint!  Amazing :)  I was trying to put the finishing touches on my grocery shopping list while the girls shopped (I had the menu done, but needed the detailed list).  We then headed to Target.  Julia needed to get Brooke a white shirt for her Halloween costume.  We wandered around for a bit, then headed out.

We dropped Julia off at Costco so she could pick up her prescription, and we circled the parking lot a few times.  And look what we found in the air!!!  I'm not sure what it is.  But I've seen it at the airport before.  Laura would TOTALLY know what this is.  She JUST got a job at the airport as a baggage handler.  How cool is that.  She used to work in Canada doing that, and now she is practically in Mexico doing that.

Next stop, Commissary.  Because I was on a menu, but I ran out of food.  So now my kids were used to following it, and I didn't have the stuff.  Anyway, I convinced Julia and Kim to come with me.  That's JUST what she wanted to do.  Fly to El Paso to go to the commissary.  hehe.  Actually, being part of her old groups everyday life is EXACTLY what she wanted to do.  hehe.

We started shopping, and I gathered the stuff on my list.  And I actually came in under budget.  But we were running out of time.  Julia volunteered to go and pick up the children, and we checked out, used her money to get her groceries, and we were waiting by the curb when she got there.  Perfect timing!

I dropped her and her kids and the groceries off at her house, and then my kiddos carried in my groceries.  My theory is, if I buy it, YOU can carry it in.  ha!  I got all the stuff put away, the kids had snack, we cleaned up a tad (and I mean a very little tad), and got ready for Monster Math night, the kid's school Halloween party.

Everyone threw on a costume from the costume box, and we called it good enough.  I should have probably looked at Jim's costume a bit more careful.  It was too small.  hehe.  I didn't know that boys could have "camel toe" until tonight.  Wait, can I say that out loud?  Too late....  Bless my heart.

My kids LOVE this event.  It's the Halloween party for the school, and they have educational games in the gym.  Bingo games, spelling activities, math activities, you name it.  And the kids get candy.  There are nachos and hot dogs and stuff for sale.  They had a costume contest, and it was just a LOT of fun.  Here's a few pictures from the event.

Here is Alex, Julia's oldest.  He's precious ;)

Emeline and her friend

Me and Kim and Delia (my behind the fence neighbor)

Jim, Jacob, and Hannah (Maggie's Kids)

Julia and Brooke (she was NOT pleased she had to wear her karate outfit.  They were going STRAIGHT to practice after the party.  She would rather have been the angel she wanted to be and is going to be on Halloween)

Emeline is SO adorable :)

After the party, we all headed home.  We left about 20 minutes before it got over.  Kim was tired, and my feet hurt.  And I think Tom was done.  hehe.  Jim could have kept going strong.  LOL.  Oh yeah, Jim and Brent were at Hockey practice.  That's why they were not at the event.

We un-costumed, and started on dinner.  Taco Pie.  I found it on Pinterest, and thought it looked good.  OMGosh, it was SO yummy!  Click HERE to go to the website for the recipe.  FABULOUS!

I didn't have the right pan, so mine didn't come up over the edge, and next time I'm gonna try and have it go that way.  And I had too much sour cream on top.  But it was delicious!!!!  Everyone at it.  Every last drop was eaten.  Definitely a keeper.

Just as I was getting ready to put kids to bed, Emeline asked if we could ready scriptures together as a family.  How could we say no to that.  She's SUCH a sweet girl.  So Kim got to experience Harty Family scripture reading.  LOL.

And yeah, don't be thinking that we're all perfect here.  I may be portraying the wrong thing.  We have problems.  CPT and I haven't been getting along so well lately.  He had surgery on his knee.  He's been on Convalescent leave for 3 weeks.  Men are made to work.  hehe.  He's going stir crazy.  And getting nit picky.  Anyway, we've been fighting.  So the fact that Eme asked for scripture reading was SO nice for a change.  It brought a peaceful spirit into the house.  So, THANKS Emeline.  I love you all the more for that.

Then the kids went to bed, CPT started cleaning our bedroom (for some reason), Kim played on her phone, and I blogged and uploaded photos to facebook and loaded my store.  See how productive I am!  And I'm done now.  It's 10:15pm.  I'm uber exhaused.  This is late for me.  LOL.  I'm not up for super late nights anymore.  I need my, well, sleep.  

We'll see how this blogging/designing/staying on top of it goes.  I want to get some freebies together too.  I don't have one today, so please forgive me.  Hopefully an update will suffice. 

Anyway, night, y'all, and I will see you tomorrow!!!