Rear Window

First off, thanks so much, girls, for all of the helpful suggestions as comments and emails today! It really helped to read them and know that there are others who feel/have been in the same position :) Today was a much better day. After day 2 of my regular dose of meds, the depressed/forlorn feelings are almost gone, and the anxiety is back lower. Still a little bit there, but not as bad as the other day :)

I woke up with my alarm at 5:30am, and woke up Jake, and the two of us headed to Seminary. With our pillows. hehe. He went in, and I napped in the car. It took me about 20 minutes to fall asleep, then I was totally out. And Jake was knocking at the window. It'd cooled off a bit in El Paso, getting into the 60's at night, and only into the low 90's in the daytime. That's almost jacket weather, you know. hehe.

Anyway, Jake came out, and was SO proud of himself for bringing me a brownie too! The teacher had brought them for the class. And I just couldn't say no, right? hehe. So much for starting out the new day with a rock solid diet plan...

We headed home, I drank my DDP, and I started to feel MUCH more woken up. I got home, and Tom left for the bus. Eme was awake and ready, but Joe and Jim were still sound asleep. I hurried and woke them up, got them dressed, fed them, and within 15 minutes, we were on the way to the bus stop.

I chatted with the girls for a bit, then headed back home to make sure Jake got off to the bus ok. And he did. At 7:50am, he headed on over to the high school bus stop. You know, I never rode the bus in high school. My mom either took me, or I got a ride with a friend.... Sorry, Jake. The bus is just fine for ya!

Captain America got up at 8am to call the dental place to postpone his appointment. We certainly didn't want to spend one of his last days here at the dentist, you know. He can go when he gets back...

He tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't. So up he got, and got ready for the day. I did a little bit of computer work, and around 9:30am, both he and I headed out for the day. He was taking his truck around town to different body shops to price out a paint job. And I needed to run to Walmart for some household supplies.

Before we left, we decided it was finally time to drain the pool. Because it was more like sludge now... Nastiness! I put a trash bag up to my armpit, and taped it securely on... I'm cool, huh?
See, the problem is that the drain valve is WAY at the bottom of the pool. And it has a part on the inside too. Extra secure. And extra hard to drain a nasty pool. I tried to reach my hand into the nastiness, but my arm wasn't long enough... i didn't get wet, though!

So then I tried to unscrew the hose, and push a pencil WAY up into the pool part, and it knocked out the plus, and started to flow! I hurried and screwed back in the hose (it was kinda messy and wet!) and ran the length of 3 hoses out into the street and down the drain. There! Problem solved :)

Amanda came to pick me up shortly after that. Well, after I'd sanitized myself, that is. Who KNOWS what's living in there! hehe :)

I had a very extensive list of things to get at Walmart. But we still fit in a little looking around too. Like this GIANT cereal bowl. OK, so maybe it's not a cereal bowl. But that was my first thought. hehe.
Soon, my cart was filled, and it was time to check out. We found a line that wasn't very full, thankfully. 10:30am on a Tuesday morning is the time to go to the Jaurez walmart, apparently :)

Before we left the store, we hit up the McDonalds first. Diet Coke and a McDouble. I wasn't gonna have time to lunch before yoga. Yeah, McDonalds and Yoga. Those go hand in hand, right?
I got back home in time to unload my things, and hop in my car and head on over to the gym. Luckily it was the close one! I was a few minutes late, but still only the 2nd person to show up. Thank goodness! I grabbed a spot, and a spot for Kari, and she was there a few minutes later.

We had a small class today, and there was a "sub" for the John dude. She was pretty good, but seemed to leave us in the positions for quite a while. I almost DIED doing Downword dog. And yeah, I can't do plank anymore. I got to heavy! I'm working on it , though!

It really was a great yoga class. Hard, but good. And yeah, McDonalds isn't great for yoga. During the total relaxation part, I couldn't TOTALLY relax. Not after that greasy burger.... That's all I'll say. hehe.

After class, I headed back home, and got there just after Captain America. He was cooking himself a turkey burger on the grill. I put away all my Walmart purchases from earlier, and he and I got ready to head to the East side to look for picture frames for some of the prints that we'd got a the temple this past weekend. We needed 2 11x17. I was pretty sure that Walmart had them. Our next stop was gonna be Hobby Lobby if they didn't.

First stop, Goodwill to donate a BUTTLOAD of clothes that don't fit anyone. And a quick glance inside to see if they had cleats. Nope, they didn't...

We headed down Montana, and it went to one lane for a while. SUPER slow going. Come to find out, it was a crash. Involving a car and a motorcycle. And the dude didn't have on a helmet! The police were JUST getting on the scene. The dude looked like he was gonna make it, but it STILL made my stomach turn! Seriously, if you're gonna ride a bike, PLEASE wear a helmet!

We continued on, and made it to Walmart. We found the couple of picture frames that we needed, and headed out to pay. We still wanted to go to Academy sports to look for cleats for Eme.

We eventually found a good pair of cleats for Eme at Academy, and they were only $8. That's not a bad price for brand new! She took a size 6 in youth. We decided that Jim and Joe already had cleats, so they were good.

The only pair for Eme were WAY up high, so Captain America grabbed a ladder, climbed up, and grabbed down a pair. hehe. You go!

We found a few pairs of athletic shorts for Captain America, and some camp folding chairs for us, too. I got a pink one, because i'm sure that the boys won't try and steal it. ROFL!

We got some rawhide bones for Boxer. He's never had them before. They're supposed to be good for their teeth, right??? Anyway, I thought the warning was funny :)


We paid, and headed home. Tom picked up the kids from the bus, because we were running a tad behind. We stopped at the Youth Sports place on post to find out which teams the kids were one. Eme practiced on Monday and Wednesday at 5:30. Joe and Leo are on the same team, practicing at the same field and same time as Eme! YES! Unfortunately, Josephine and Jim were NOT on the same time. Jim was supposed to practice at a completely different field on the same day as Eme and Joe. SO not gonna work.

I plead my case to the little man behind the desk, and said that I wanted Jim to be on Josephine's team. Because Kari could help me out. And they met on Tuesday at 6:30 and it wasn't a conflict. He said he'd see what he could do and get back to me. I said that we'd just join that team for now until they came to a decision. hehe. Sometimes you've just gotta be pushy, right??? Thank you, Prozac!

We headed home, and contemplated going to Academy to get shoes for Joe and Jim. Because the ones at home were too small!!! I wish we'd known that earlier in the day! Oh well. But, we decided that we didn't have time. He could go one practice with regular shoes, right? They're just little guys ;)

I cooked Tuna Casserole for the kids for dinner, and helped Joe and Jim with their homework. And soon, it was time to go to Soccer. I left Tom in charge, and everyone was on a laptop. And watching TV. Life is hard sometimes, huh? hehe.

Captain America and Jim and I headed out in the Saturn, and got there right as practice was starting. Jim's coach seemed SUPER nice. We brought out our folding chairs, and had fun chatting with Kari the whole time. She's a great friend!

Jim is the one on the left with the teal hat, the gray shirt, holding the ball, and with the red shorts.

Jim is WAY in the back getting a drink of water, and Josephine is the orange #4.

Here's Captain America and I!

We chatted with the coach for quite a while after practice, and Captain America played around with the ball with Jim and Josephine and Leo. They all seemed to have fun. We finally loaded up, and headed out around 8pm.

I helped Joe and Jim pick out their clothes for tomorrow, and got them all ready for bed, then tagged off with Captain America for tuck ins and prayers. I had Eme and Tom and Jake close up what they were working on and go to bed. Jake tried to tell me that he had to do this, or do that, or whatever (none of which was totally crucial to tomorrows preparations), but I told him that he had 4 hours after school to get it all done. There's not need to wait until bedtime to start on your to-do list. So I sent him off to bed too. I'm a mean mom sometimes. hehe.

And I sat down and started blogging. It's now almost 9pm. Can't stay up too late. Gotta be up at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow! hehe. Maybe I'll read in bed for a little bit. I think that's where Captain America is right now. Reading in bed. I think I'll go and join him :)

Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work. thanks!

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Great one, Sharon! I wish I had a rear view mirror in my truck. hehe.

Psycho

OK, so I was feeling all proud of myself yesterday, for having a lower dose of my Prozac, and for feeling like I was able to handle it all, and like I was able to cope, and do it all. Yeah, today? Not so much...

We slept in WAY late. Almost 11, I think. The kids were playing laptops when we woke up, and all seemed happy.

We had some breakfast, and watched some Star Trek the Next Generation. Jake is really into that right now. And it was lunch time before we knew it.

Captain America and the boys put away the race track, and we cleaned up a minimal amount. Around 2, we decided to get ready and go to the zoo. I showered, and got fixed up, and settled on this outfit.

Not taking my correct dose of my anti-depressant for a few days, I was really noticing just how much weight I'd picked up. And how bad I really did look. :(

We were out the door and to the zoo by 3:15pm. I think that was everyone else's plan in El Paso too! It was super crowded.
















Joe found a Million Dollar bill, and was SO excited. I felt bad telling him it was fake...

About 1/2 way through the zoo trip, I started feeling depressed. Super depressed. Like I couldn't control it depressed. Luckily I had on sun glasses, or I would have been teary-eyed all around the zoo. I managed to hold it off, though.
We left around 5pm, and headed home. I got there, and instantly went to the bathroom and started sobbing. I felt anxious, and upset, and out of control. I was afraid for when Captain America left, and didn't know how I was gonna do it. I felt hopeless and lonely. It wasn't a feeling that I wanna have again...

Captain America came in, and found me, and tried to help me feel better. But realized that it was the drugs (or lack thereof). He had me take the normal dose that the new doctor prescribed, and had me lay down for a while. He said he'd cook dinner for the kids.

He came back in after a little while, and gave me a blessing. It helped a little bit. And after a rest, I headed out to help with dinner. We had taco's for dinner, and watched some more Star Trek.

Captain America headed to go and lift at 6:30pm, and I watched some 24. At 7:30pm, I had the kids come inside (they were playing with the neighborhood kids outside) and take baths and get on jammies. Joe and Jim went to bed, and Jake and Tom and Eme read until around 8:30pm. Then I put them to bed too.

Captain America came home a little before 9pm, and I'd just started on my blog. It's now 9:04pm. And I'm wiped. I think it's from the emotional outburst. That really drains a person. I'm not liking it. I don't wanna be afraid of that the rest of this deployment. I think I'm gonna just get back on my anti-depressants. I know that my therapist and Captain America want to see me off of the drugs. I know that they do. But it scares me. I don't know if I can handle things here all on my own without it. Especially if today is any indication.

And I don't wanna feel sad. I really don't. This reminds me of the month before I went into the hospital. Feeling sad and anxious and withdrawn. I just wanna hide in my room, and not leave. And I know that's not good. Not good at all. I liked the outgoing and fun and active me. Hmpf! Hopefully I'll feel a lot better when I wake up in the morning :(

Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work. thanks!

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Great layout, Sharon! Lovin' the pinks and the blacks!

September Calendar

Yeah, we were naughty today. We skipped church. Captain America wanted to spend the MOST time he could with us before he left, so I agreed to have us all stay home. We slept in until 9:30am (ha! we'd gone to bed at 10pm!), then came out and cleaned the house for a bit. And had breakfast.

I started on some laundry from forever ago, and Captain America helped by keeping the little kids occupied. Or, at least, that's how he played it off. hehe. At least Jim wasn't running around messing things up, right?



Boxer was totally sleeping too, but woke up when I got close with my phone/camera.
And yeah, we didn't really do much else. The house looked TONS better when we were done. Not great, or perfect, but tons better. I think that if we keep cleaning a little bit each day, I'll be good by the time Captain America goes back.

We set up the race car track, and had a HUGE family race off with the Hot Wheels that Jim and Captain America bought last night. Jake was SO excited to set up all of his race cars (and mine - I gave mine to him) after the race in his room.

Joe ended up getting 1st, Jake 2nd, Tom 3rd, Jim 4th, Eme 5th, me 6th, and Captain America 7th. Poor Captain America. hehe. He SO hates losing :)

We had some dinner, then started on a Doctor Who season 6 marathon. Captain America hasn't seen any of the episodes yet :) It started at Easter when he was gone. It's a GREAT season, and I should have re-watched it a long time ago.

Oh yeah, and I found this on the kitchen table. Really, guys? THIS, for a cup? Really???
Short blog today. Not much happened. We spent the day together, and worked on cleaning projects together, and had races together, and hung out on the couch together, and watched movies together. All in all, it was a great day :)

So the 1st, I forgot to get you the calendar. Here it is, now. And did you figure out what WordArts I'm doing for September??? Movie titles! Look for them EVERY day in September (except today - ha!)

Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work.

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GREAT layout, Sharon! What an awesome kit you used!!!

It's A Wonderful Life.

Awe, vacation :) Gotta love vacation! I was so sleepy last night while I was blogging, that I hope it made sense. hehe. I could have been just going off and making up stories - LOL! I was THAT tired :)

My phone died in the middle of the night, but luckily, my 2 weeks of seminary paid off! I woke up, on my own, at 5:45am. A little late and off schedule, but better than 9 am, right? We got up, and got ready. And were packing and loading the car by 7am. And charging my phone!

We went and had breakfast at the hotel's buffet. We paid $20 for the two of us, including tip. And it was SOOO tasty! Everything you could possibly want for breakfast was there. With a southwest flavor to it. Captain America's plate looked so spicy I didn't even wanna touch it. Mine was definitely the white girl version. hehe :)

We turned finished up eating, turned in our key, and took some photos in the parking lot. The grounds were really quite nice!

Don't fall in!!!

I totally had contacts on today, but my right eye has been bothering me lately. Not the eye itself, but the upper lid. I don't know if I have an ingrown hair or what? But the contacts irritate it more than no contact. If I close my eye real tight, it feels like someone is pressing on a bruise.... If it gets worse, I'll have to go and have it looked at...

Anyway, here's some more pics of us over by our car.

Captain America wanted this particular picture on the sign. hehe. Queensryche is one of his favorites!
It's about a 30 minute drive from the hotel to the Temple. So off we set. And as we were driving up to the temple, I tried to click a picture of it. And wouldn't you know, THESE got in the way. It's as if I meant for it to happen. hehe.


See how excited I am to be going to the Albuquerque temple!!! It's my first time inside of it!
We hurried on inside, and decided that we'd do some sealings today if there were openings. We haven't done any since we got married! It would be nice to witness a sealing again :) Anyway, we did manage to get in with a group doing sealings, and had a FANTASTIC time. Going to the temple always fills you with such peace and love and good feelings. Especially with my lower dose of Prozac. It's SO much easier to feel the spirit when you're not all drugged out. hehe. I like it. I liked it a lot :)

Anyway, at 9:30am, we were done with the sealings, and changed ,and went outside to take some photos. You know how I am with the photos!

We started off near the fountain, but the sun was SOOOO bright! It was totally in our eyes ;)










And then we wise up, and moved to the shade. Much easier to smile if you're not squinting!

Isn't the temple beautiful???

Captain America took this photo, and I just LOVED it!!!

Crazy fly away hair - hehe. It started off good, and got progressively more out of control as the photo shoot continued. hehe.

Oak trees are Captain America's favorites, so he wanted a photo in front of it.

We got as many pictures as we could take (hehe), then we headed out. Isn't the valley beautiful??? Love New Mexico!

Slug Bug!!!

We stopped by Beehive clothing, and saw that they had scriptures there. We decided long ago to give the kids nice scriptures for their Baptism. And Jake was the only one that got some. Oops. So we bought nice quads for Tom and Eme, and some cheaper ones for Joe. And we'll get him better ones when he turns 12. He's not responsible enough for $50 scriptures at this point. hehe. We also got some prints to frame and hang on the walls :)
The woman in front of us was doing returns, so it was taking FOREVER... But we eventually paid, and headed out. Here's the spot that Jake was hiding in when we went to the temple last December. Did I blog about that? How he ran away and hid in the bushes in the dark??? Sigh...
Next stop, Deseret Bookstore. We wanted to get the kids' names engraved on the scriptures. We were going all out - ha! It was gonna take 20 minutes, so we walked around the bookstore, and picked up a few gifts for our friends. And some books. And a few other things. They have a rewards program there, and I texted my mom and asked what her number was so that she could get the points. I don't shop there enough to make a different. There ya go, mom! Got you some points. hehe :)

We got the scriptures, and paid, and headed out.

We got new temple recommend holders. Mine's the one with the splashes of red :)

And the new Nashville Tribute band CD. It's all about missionary work. It was pretty good! They came to my mom's stake a few weeks ago and did a fireside. She said they were super awesome :)

Captain America didn't wanna travel home in his church clothes, so he went into Whataburger to change. And grab me a Diet Dr Pepper. I stayed in the car and chatted with my mom. He came back out, and we decided to just eat here. It was noon already. Where did the time go???

Mmm, Diet Dr Pepper!

We got a shake, and Captain America got BRAIN FREEZE!!!

Captain America's triple layer hamburger. Totally loaded. Don't tell him how many calories it had. He was thinking about 400. Um, yeah, no...


Mine was the Bacon and Tomato burger. Super tasty. A little bit too much mustard, though... Still good!


And then we were off. Here's me, driving the first leg home. Captain America napped, and I listened to the CD. Until I got sleepy, then I turned on my Glee Soundtrack, and belted out some fine tunes! That's always good for staying awake.

We stopped in Truth or Consequence for a Soda break, and switched drivers.
Then I took a nap, and Captain America called his dad to chat. I woke up around Las Cruces, and Captain America and I chatted the rest of the way home. It was 4:30 or 5pm by the time we got back. We swung by Kari's house and picked up the kids. And I gave her her "thank you" gift, and the men chatted for a bit, then we headed on home.

The kids were excited to see us. We gave them their souveiners and their scriptures and such, then cleaned up the house for about 30 minutes, then had dinner. Jim and Captain America headed out to Walmart to get some Hot Wheels for our race tomorrow, and a few other things.

I took a bath, and blogged, and watched 2 episodes of 24. Yeah, we're gonna have to clean a bit tomorrow. The house is trashed. Except for the living room. It's looking pretty good...

Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work. Thanks!

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Awe, sweet one! Thanks, Sharon! It looks great :)