Hey there, girls. Shocker, I know. I'm giving blogging a shot again. I really miss is. But I don't know how hard it is gonna be to get back into it. I did my taxes a few days ago, and my income decreased by 2/3!! Just from stopping blogging. Wow, huh! So here it goes again.I went to lunch with the kids today. I'd been baking homemade treats for them all year long, but the school FINALLY decided to crack down on it last week. So no more homemade goodies. Which freed up my morning, but was disappointing. I did like chatting with my kiddos, though.
Julia and Corby were there to eat with their kids, and Tom and Maggie were there to eat with there kids. Which was hard. Because I was by myself. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself. I need to snap out of it, I guess. CPT and I are having a rough patch. And I'm not sure if we are going to snap out of it or not. I can't make someone like me. I really can't. And would I even WANT to force someone to like me? No, I don't think I would. But I'm about done with the whole situation. If something doesn't change, I may make some permanent changes myself.
Anyway, since it was an Army 4 day holiday, watching the happy couples at lunch was kinda hard. But I tried to ignore it, and chatted with the kids. Then came back home after. And worked on my computer. It's been freaking out lately. It's been trying to update, and then I have to restart it to make it to work right again. Sigh. So after about an hour, and a system restore, I got it going again. And here I am, blogging.
Good news, Jake is doing good. He is managing quite well. His therapist is VERY impressed with his progress. He does therapy once a week, and is learning how to manage people the right way. Tom and Joe are in therapy once every few weeks, and things seem to good.
Joe and Tom are both in Hockey. Eme is in Piano. We do Scouts on Wednesday. I'm going to play with the girls about once a week. And CPT and I fight a lot. Other than that, that's my life. Oh yeah, and I'm watching a lot of Bones. That show is great. I like it. I don't know why I didn't start watching it sooner. hehe.
Man, I sound like such a downer! I hate that. I wanna be a ray of sunshine. I want to be happy, and spread happiness. And I know that I have the potential of being that way. It's inside of me. I know it is. But it isn't today. I just feel like crying. Sigh. Deep breaths. Some of my friends from church are going to a support group for "deployed spouses" and I was invited and thought might go tonight. Tom is old enough to babysit. At least then I can be around people who like me. Maybe that's what I need, some positiveness. Some laughter. Some happiness. Sitting at home and feeling down isn't working out so well for me :)
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21 comments:
It is so so so so GOOD to have a post from you - I've really missed you and have been very concerned. Yes - you need to blog - it not only lets you vent stuff but it also lets us support you. You've got a permanent place in my heart kiddo!
(Love the pic by the way - you're lookin' good)
So happy to see you back! I DO believe talking/writing about your thoughts & feelings is therapeutic, so keep on blogging, Girl! YOU ARE LOVED AND MISSED.
Have a Diet Dr. Pepper and RELAX, you are amongst friends.
You have been in my thoughts and will stay in my thoughts and prayers! Hang in there and as they say, one moment, one hour, one day at a time.
It is nice to see you back. So glad things are going better and your picture is soooo cute!
Good to see you back here, missed you. YOU might think you're moaning but sometimes life is not good.
I had a rant on my blog, just got something really personal off my chest, and my daughter sent me a text - I love you - made me feel a whole lot better, specially as I hadn't seen anyone since Christmas. It's good to rant will be my chant!!!!
I totally love the look!
And I am also happy to see a post from you. You can complain here, we don't mind.
Hope to hear from you again soon!
We have all missed you. I guess you know that by now....Remember "Saturdays Warrior"? There was a song in it 'One Step at a Time' I think. I've been feeling that way, too. We really do pray and think about you.
Nancy
omg, girl! think i lost my comment.i thought you had unsubbed me for having ten thousand emails from being in the hosp. so long (had both legs amputated, but never mind<:")i worried so bad about you - thought cpt made you stop - but ha! income is a mighty sword, isn't it? big, big hugs, beth, missed you very much!
cher in austin
Bethany!!!! Sooo great to see you back.. and don't you look fantastically cute! Ha! :) Sorry to hear about the struggles.. but wonderful to hear your good news as well. You have been missed!
Much love to you and sending lots of postivive vibes your way.. you are such an inspiration! ;)
Nice to see you back. And I'm happy to hear the good news about your kids. Many times I wondered how they were doing.
Big hugs
Thanks for the great WA, Bethany. You and your hubs have been through a LOT and that does take a toll. I feel in my heart that you CAN make it. Stop telling yourself he doesn't like you. He LOVES you. Look how cute you are with your new hairdo! ;) Don't give up. What you had is priceless and you can get it back. Ask God for help and don't stop asking until it's all worked out. :) {{hugs}}
glad to see a post from you. I'm so glad that Jake is doing so well. praying that you and cpt work thing out..you and the cpt are such a lovely couple. :)
Bethany,
So glad to get your update. I think of you and your family often and pray for you as well. My heart aches for you right now. Stressful times bring on more stressful times. I wish I could send you a hug right now. Hang in there, and you will get your answers needed thru prayer. Please don't stay away so long. There are many friends here that would do whatever it took to help you. You certainly have given me many bright days over the last few years. Exhale....
Nice to see you back, blogging...I was wondering what was going on with you.
It is WONDERFUL to see you back Bethany! I have been following your blog for ages and have kept popping back in the hopes that you would start blogging again..You made my day to see you had updated, but I am sorry to read that things are tough between you and the CPT. Life is too short, be happy! :-) xx
I am SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK! Sorry, didn't mean to shout, but I found I really really missed your detailed All About Me & My Family posts. But mostly, about you.
I'm glad that on some fronts things are going better, or at least not badly; but I'm sorry things are so rocky between you and the Capt. YES, I think you need to take care of yourself, which means going where people like you. Or where you can give them a chance to like you.
(((((HUGS))))
Thanks for the word art, Bethany! I'm sorry you and your hubby are having a tough time.
Glad to see you back. I was wondering about you. I missed seeing your silly pictures. You will have tones of up and downs in a marriage. Just remember why you guys got together. Being away from each other is hard too. Go out with the other girls and get your thoughts out there. Don't bottle them up. Take care.
So glad you are back! Sending you love.
So so happy you are back! Like everyone has said, you are loved and missed! And Lulutoo gave great advice. Hubby and I are just emerging from a 4 year slump that I thought for sure we wouldn't make it through. It's heart wrenching, but hold onto the good things and seek out spiritual help and get into counseling! Can't wait to go read the last few days posts!!!
So so so good to see you back! I have thought of you often.
Yolanda
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