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Friday, September 10, 2010

Hmpf!

OK, before I get all sad and whiny on you, here's my new stuff for the week. Oh wait. I didn't feel like designing, because my funk is back, and I just repackaged up some old crap into a bundle, and selling it to you SUPER cheap. Cause I'm lazy, and didn't feel like making anything new. Or feel creative. Or anything.... See, pitty party is back. Hmpf!

Anyway, 2 bundles, one all about families, and one all about friends. They end up being either sixty or eighty ish cents a wordart pack. Which I'm crazy to sell them at that low of a price, but I don't care right now. You should buy them. Maybe I'll feel better if I make a lot of money this weekend. ha!

I linked the item to the picture, so you can click on it below to go to the store and that particular product. So don't click HERE, because it won't take you anywhere. Really, it won't.


And you know, the thing is, it started off as a fine day. Normal. Routine. Everything I normally do. I went to a friends house in the morning, because she was feeling sad, and brought her a soda, and we were laughing and happy by the time I went back home. I spent lunchtime with Jake, then after Jimmy went on the bus and after lunch, Aimee and Hilary and I went to Savers, for 1/2 price blue tag day, and I had a 20% off coupon for regular priced items. And I had fun. Until the ride home, when I started feeling like crap. Yeah, my stomach was a little upset, but I was almost to tears, and I honestly didn't know why.

I know, you all think I'm crazy. Maybe I am crazy. I'm not hormonal, because I just got done with that a few days ago. Sigh. I haven't been eating very well lately, and I'm afraid it's related to that. No, I haven't been eating too much. The opposite, in fact. I haven't been hungry, so I haven't been eating that much. I need to. Maybe that's why I'm so tired. And irritable. And emotional. And moody.

And I know I'm opening myself up to all sorts of criticisms, but I really don't care right now. I don't feel good. And if it's because I haven't eaten much in the past 10 days, then maybe I need to look closer at that. Not eating enough is just as bad as eating too much...

But for some reason, I'm doing it to myself. That wordart from yesterday is so appropriate, right? And having Captain America gone isn't helping things. But I know there's gonna be times that he's gone. Like ALL of next year. Hmpf! I miss him... Even though I complain about him sometimes, and get annoyed with him too. I still miss him. And he's freakin' coming back late Friday, so I should stop having my stupid pity party, and get over it....

It's now 6:45pm, and I'm done. I can't handle life anymore, so I'm retreating to my room. I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep, probably, with the mood I'm in. I left Jake and Tom in charge of finishing up dinner, and getting the younger kids to beds. And helping with homework. I know they can do it. They're great kids. See, I am blessed. I don't know why I feel so down...

Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to be happy. And it's almost feels like I do things to sabotage myself when I start to be or feel happy. How messed up is that... Hmpf. I don't even know if this post makes sense. I should have just posted the freebie without my rantings. But that didn't go over too well last time, and I promised Andrea I wouldn't do that to her again. So here's my crappy post, but at least it's a post, right?

I'm hoping I feel better when I wake up in the morning. And I have all intentions of eating a bowl of yogurt like I know I should. Cause it would be good for me. I know it would...

Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work. Thanks


21 comments:

DeniseAck said...

Hang in there, honey. We all deserve a pity party now and then and invite our friends to join us. That's what friends are for!

Consider making a "Pity Party" word art. I know I could find a use for it for my pre-teenage drama queen!

renee said...

I'm sorry you feel bad! Just out of curiosity, have you ever been tested for anemia? low iron can make you feel crappy and down in the dumps... it happens a lot to girls who have lost a lot of weight too and it just never gets built back up because... well.. we are girls. nuf said! plus if you drink caffeine at meals (like I do), your body has a hard time absorbing iron. hope you feel better soon! been a long time lurker - love your blog :)

Kathryn said...

Bethany, sorry you were so down yesterday. It happens. Sometimes you just gotta flow with it. You did the right thing, letting your older kids finish up things, and see to the little ones.

Hope today is better. Thanks for your wordart. You do such a beautiful job.

Kathryn

Hilary said...

HMPH! Answer my text chickie!

CBH said...

Thank you so much for this post. I want to let you know that I posted a link to your blog in CBH Digital Scrapbooking Freebies, under the Page 8 post on Sep. 10, 2010. Thanks again.

Anonymous said...

Bethenny-this is not a criticism. It is a bit of advice from someone who has had many of the same feelings that you are currently having. Please go see a doctor. Lack of appetite and prolonged feelings of sadness are red flags for depression. Depression is highly treatable and doesn't always require medication (although I currently do take an anti-depressent). This has been going on long enough now that I don't think this is just a "funk". Please consider going to talk to a GOOD doctor about what you are going through. They can help you!

Anonymous said...

Just realized that I spelled your name wrong in that previous post...sorry about that! Wanted to also add that women in their mid thirties are prime candidates for depression and anxiety disorders. So, PLEASE, consider going to see someone. It's OK to ask for help!

Shauna said...

Girl, my grandmother would say pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get to getting, but I know it is not always as easy as it sounds.

I agree you need to see a doctor, it could be anemia or depression, but either way, you know and believe me it is easier to fight the devil you know than the sea of unknown demons.

Either way, you're in my prayers!!!

Anonymous said...

Hope you feel better and have a great day:)

The Steigmeiers said...

There isn't a lot I can say. I don't you or anything like that, but I follow your blog because I love your word art and seeing what you are up to. Your posts crack me up some days. I have never done this (sending a message to someone I don't know) but I fell pressed to tell you that the one thing that I know I can do for you is pray for you and your family. The life of a military wife is hard but rewarding in so many ways. Always remember that our Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ love you and are with you. The Savior knows the pain you are in and as you rely on him during this time he will help you. Stay strong.....you are in my prayers

deb said...

Hope your feeling better and outta da funk soon. Thank you for the word art.

Ruby M. said...

Thanks for the great freebie as always. I hope you are feeling better soon.I think seeing your dr just for a check up is a very good idea. Unfortunatly life isnt all neat and pretty and your blog is honest and if people critisize you for needing a "pity party" every so often then the heck with them. Tell them to send me their address please because Id LOVE to live in their fairy tale world,lol.
Hang in there girl.....things will get better!

Shannan said...

Thank you for the freebie, and thanks for being honest and real. I know it must be hard to put that on your blog but getting it out, if talking or blogging might help too! I think everyone needs a day to hide under the covers and cry just release everything..

Cindy Keeler said...

Thanks as always for the word art!!

the blog... how ever did you get into my head??... lol... i just wanted you to know that you are not alone.. i have been feeling a lot of the same thing as you lately.. i went to see my dr yesterday and had a very good chat... i think you should too!!
we will get through this!!
Hugs


thanks too for helping me feel like i am not alone... ;)

Jen Pugh said...

Girl you have Guts.
I never let that kind of thing out because I don't want anyone to think I'm weak or in need of there help. But let's face it, bottling it all in just leads to giant outbursts of emotions when it's least expected & usually on someone who doesn't deserve it. I wish I had the courage to share my feeling like you do. Thanks for putting it all out there for "me" to see.
At first I came to you blog for the freebies, but now I read it daily because I feel like I know you... you're just like me.
"Strong Women have breakdown too! But it doesn't mean we are weak. It means we're human."

helen scott said...

Oh sweetheart, call those friends of yours and have that pirate party! Seriously thou eating is kinda important - no point in swinging from one end to the other on this. maybe it's time you got some help outside your circle, docs can help and check if anything else is going on.

Hang in there lil' chicken because you are blessed and you do deserve happiness.

Praying for you.

helen

MouserMo said...

Thank you for your freebies. Link on your post was added to PickleMouse freebie list

Peggy S said...

Oh, I have just the grandchild for this one. Love it, thanks.

And because you share your real feelings with all of us, we have to share ours with you. I agree it is time to see the doc if you haven't already. I know quite a few really strong, good wonderful women who have benefitted greatly from some help for awhile.

Anonymous said...

I get the downy dumps days. Don't be so hard on yourself. I think it's just the natural order of things .. our natural ups and downs. ;) Can't always be UP.. UP .. UP.. or that'd be weird too right? lol We all have our days. It could be that you just go .. go .. go.. and seem to thrive on a very full plate of things to do.. and so the down time if you needing re-charging? I wouldn't fret about it.. and I also wouldn't worry about ppl judging you. Most of us think you are way awesome.. and accept you for who YOU are. Hope tomorrow is a better day.. that you get some good healthy yummies to get some energy back.. and get back on track with that.

You're awesome.. generous.. and real.. and you are very much appreciated for being this way! :) TY for the cool gift as always. .... CanadaDiAnna

Cassie_lu said...

I don't have any words of advice that hasn't already been said, but I can offer up my prayers for you.

Anonymous said...

Bethany,

Things will get better, darkness never lasts--although some times it feels like it will never end. Just think about all the people you touch in such a wonderful and engulfing manner when you include us in your life. In your dark and doubtful moments know that your sprit brings light and love into many of our lives and we are blessed to share your experiences. Hang in there, you can do it!