So. I took the weekend off like I said that I was gonna start to do. And here it is, Monday night. And Monday was a good day in general. But then i took Jake to practice with me, and after the 2nd practice we had a melt down, and I was just DONE. I got cussed out, and Joe got cussed out, and I was just mentally done.
I spent the 3rd practice in the car crying. Good thing it was dark. I don't want to have a special needs kid anymore. I don't want to check his pockets for things like matches and lighters and pocket knives. And I don't wanna make sure that he takes his meds, because if he doesn't, he will beat me or the other kids up. I'm tired of it all.
And as I sit here and write this, I'm sobbing again. I'm tired of it all. We are looking into residential treatment facilities for Jake. Something has to give. It can't go on like this. Someone is going to get hurt. We have an appointment with the therapist tomorrow. Hopefully we can get the application process started. Pray for us... I don't know what else to do at this point...
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