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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Shiny Happy People

Hey there peeps! How is life out in blog land?? Good, I hope :) Life in the Harty household is moving forward, slowly but surely. Poor Captain America. He's been having a hard time since I came home. I think the weight of the depression, and our issues, and past stuff finally caught up with him, and it was just too much. And after a lengthy discussion (read:fight), he finally admitted that he needed someone to talk to also. Thank goodness. The poor guy can't do it all on his own. And I KNOW that talking to someone is the right thing to do.

I'd gotten up at 6:45am, said my prayers, did my morning routine, got the kids up and going, cooked them eggs, did family prayer and scriptures with them, sent them to the bus at 7:30am, then Captain America came home and we talked until 10am. I think he felt a little better. He headed in to work to talk to his Commander, and I got ready for the day.

And decided that something needed done with these bananas. Can you even tell that they're bananas???

Super nasty! BUT, banana bread and banana cookies are good with old nasty bananas, you know.

So since I was trying to stay closer to home, and take y'alls advice, Hilary stopped by to see me since I wasn't going out to play. She'd just come from the doctor, and we visited for about an hour. It was nice :)

And while she was there, I got some flowers! Look how WONDERFUL they are!!!
They're from my boss, Maya, Mick, and all the crew and girls at Scrapbookgraphics! Isn't that FABULOUS! I was touched :) And my kids thought it was the coolest thing EVER. I've never got flowers at the front door before!

Hilary went home around 11:45, and I gathered up all my ingredients for cookies. I decided on Banana cookies with Lemon frosting. Sounded SO good. I didn't know if I was gonna eat one or not, but they sounded good. Good to smell, right?

Anyway, Captain America texted and said that he could come with me to my 1pm LDS Therapist appointment, and that I should get the map all ready. So I put away the cold ingredients, and left the others on the counter, and got ready to go. It was gonna take about 20 minutes to get there, and we wanted to be on time.

Come to find out, it was directly across the street from where Jimmy had his tonsillectomy. Go figure! We got there a good 15 minutes early, and he and I chatted and hung out in the waiting room. The therapist guy came out, had me fill out papers, and took me back. Captain America stayed in the lobby.

And we talked for about an hour and 20 minutes. I told him everything that had been going on, how I felt, what I was thinking, all my problems and struggles and issues and everything. And you know what? It was really nice to talk to someone. Who knew I could talk that much. Ha!

He knew just what questions to ask me to get me to talk more, and helped me see myself a little clearer. He said that my relationships, in general, don't seem to be very deep, in part, because of my "transient" lifestyle. And that's totally true. I don't live near my family, and haven't in a long while. Or by Captain Americas family. We've moved 17 times in 14 years of marriage, 3 years being the longest in any one place.

He told me that I really needed to think about this and how it's affected me. We also talked about how I'm a "people pleaser", and I go with the flow and change to conform to any given situation. He told me to think a lot about what I really need. And what makes me truly happy. Yeah, I usually just go with the flow and try to make others happy. So I have some homework for this week. He also said start reading my scriptures today. I was gonna start getting up 10 minutes earlier to add scripture study in, so I think tomorrow is the day for that :)

We talked about food issues, and negative body image, and he said that we'd talk more about that next time. I told him about not eating for 2 weeks, and about slowly getting off of my original diet and back on the refeed portion. Because I didn't want to hurt my stomach. He asked if my stomach was hurting the past few days, I said no, so he said to get back on refeed NOW and start exercising. Sigh. OK, I agreed to it. hehe. I stressed me out just thinking about it - ha! But I"ll do it.

We tied it up, Captain America set up an appointment to talk with him tomorrow, we both might go back Thursday morning, and we headed back out. Jacob, thankfully, picked up Jimmy from the bus, and I went with Captain America to his therapist appointment on post. His commander had recommended him going there. I sat in the lobby this time, and played on facebook and texted and checked emails. He came out about 40 minutes later, set an appointment for next week, and off we went.

He dropped me off at home and headed back to work. The kids were all home except for Tom. Apparently, he'd been signed up for after school PE (AQ), while I was in the hospital, and today was the first day. Yeah, I'd missed that. So I hurried up to the school and got him. He'd only been waiting for 35 minutes. Sorry, Tom. At least he's a 5th grader, and was just sitting on the steps of the school reading and listening to him MP3 player. Totally content. Pfew!

We went home, and I started on the cookies. See, this batter doesn't look nasty at all!
It made a TON of cookies. I was wishing for less batter, but sigh. That bag of bananas warranted a double batch. hehe.
And the yummy lemon frosting. Yeah, SO good :)
At the same time I was making the cookies, I made dinner for the kids. Spaghetti. Yeah, it was tiring me out. And I was making a mess of the kitchen. Sigh. Hilary suggested taking my Prozac at night rather than in the morning, because it's possible that it's making me sleepy. Anyone else have any experience with anti-depressants? Does time of day make a difference? Should I switch to evenings?

Anyway, I was exhausted when I finished with everything. AND I still needed to make something for myself. As tempted as I was to just skip dinner, I cooked up 2 pieces of Tilapia and steamed some carrots/zuccheni/squash. It was really quite good. I ate one of the cookies (SO good), and cooked up a bag of light kettle corn popcorn, which I ate the whole bag of. See, adding more foods in :) I was proud of myself.

Captain America got home around that time, and saw how tired I was. He took the kids to the park for 20 minutes, and told me to hop on the computer and design and blog. What a sweetheart. I just heard the kids come back in, and it's 7:30pm. We're gonna put kids to bed, drag the MASSIVE pile of laundry into the living room, watch an episode of Lie to Me, and fold laundry. Then spend some quality time together. Sounds like a great plan for the evening :)

Well, I did try and not be so busy today. There's just way to much to do, I think. hehehe.

So here's your WordArt freebie for the day :) Hope you like it! Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work. Thanks!


Avis said...

Hi Bethany,

Wow, today is sure a hectic but fruitful day (think of the tons of stuff you'd done)!
And how sweet of your boss & colleagues to send a nice 'cuppa' of flowers to you! ^_^
Take care & don't overtired yourself, ya??


SweetDaze said...

So glad to hear you had such a wonderful, healthy meal. Have you ever tried Zatterain's Crispy Southern coating for Fish? So yummy, even I'll eat fish now. Thank you for the word art and I'm totally loving the happy bouquet you received. It's so you!

Scrap Girl said...

Hi Bethany

I am glad to hear you are doing all the right things for you.

You mentioned you were on Prozac, I am too. I tried to switch taking mine in the evening but found that unless I ate something substantial that it gave me serious heartburn. I take mine in the morning with my breakfast. You can try taking it in the evening if you don't have the heartburn issue. The great thing with Prozac is that it builds in your system over the first week or two and so if you miss a dose or are thinking of switching your times, it won't leave you without any in your system.

If you like you may want to stop by my blog http://darknessintothelight.blogspot.com/ I journal about my experience with depression and anxiety there. Feel free to contact me with any questions no matter how personal. You are not alone. :)

TeenaBugg38 said...

Bethany I am so happy to see looking so well and sounding so UP!! And i think it's really good for both of you to be talking to someone right now.....Brent is probably kinda walking around on eggshells thinking he has to watch what he says or does so he doesn't upset you in anyway....it's important for people to understand that you are the same person you were before and you aren't gonna "break" Plus he's such a guy....and guys ahte it when they can't fix something.....I think it's in the testosterone.....lol. I took prozac for whole and actually it wired me....if I took it at night I couldn't sleep at all!! Pay attention to what time of day you take it and when you start feeling draggy and maybe you can adjst your schedule.....and any sie effects will usually go away in a couple of weeks anyway :) Continuing to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Bethany,

Yes, the time of the day that you take your anti-depressants can change the symptoms you experience. However, only make changes to your medication review after consulting with your doctor. :-)

Take care.

Belle said...

I'm so happy for you. :) You're doing so well - you and your family! Be gentle with yourself like you would be for a friend.

You've read that our offering or sacrifice to the Lord is supposed to be our broken heart and contrite spirit, right? Well "contrite" actually means "bruised."

As I've come to ponder on the atonement and my own "broken heart and 'bruised' spirit" I've discovered that besides implying humility and meekness...it's also literal. -When we come to the Savior in humility and "lay down" our burdens (or broken and bruised lives) the atonement can take affect in our lives. I hope that little insight helps.

I wasn't on prozac, I was on zoloft, but I know that time of day made a difference for me. Just don't go experimenting without your doctor and husband knowing. :) Safety and all!

Also (sorry this is longer) I grew up as a military 'brat' and am now a military wife. I know about 'surface' relationships. I guess that's why I mentioned the Savior. If you can build and strengthen your relationship with the Spirit and the Lord - and also strengthen your relationship with your husband - there's an infinite source of hope, love, peace, and joy! (Not to mention strength and will power).

Love & Prayers,

Deanna said...

Big, happy, shiny hugs from me in Savannah. Very proud of you! (that's the mom thing comin' out, ya know... yeah, you know!)

Stephanie said...

I've never taken Prozac, but I have to take my meds at dinner time because they make my stomach upset if I don't take them with a meal (Plus it's easier on your body to break them down with food.) Those flowers were super sweet and so pretty! Now, when are you going to share that cookie recipie?! (lol) ;)

Hilary said...

Took mine last night and it knocked me out! I took it at dinner time with food. By 10:30 I was OUT! Slept all night long and didn't wake until Paul woke me this morning.

When I was on Zoloft many years ago, I had to switch to night because of the same thing. Worked better for me. I'm telling ya, switch it and see how it works for you. If it doesn't work, switch back!

On the side of my Prozac bottle is a warning that it can cause drowsiness. And it totally did for me!

CBH said...

Thank you so much for this post. I want to let you know that I posted a link to your blog in CBH Digital Scrapbooking Freebies, under the Page 6 post on Sep. 22, 2010. Thanks again.

Anonymous said...

I am on two anti-depressants and I take both of them in the evening, because I do get drowsy. Make sure you tell someone if you are making changes so they can be alert to anything you might miss. :) I can see you drinking out of that mug long after the flowers have gone.

Ms. Jen said...

Busy day again.......Be careful not to overdoe (sp?) again right away. It sounds like your taking time for yourself with prayers and scriptures. I'm glad your gonna be excercising because that will be time for yourself too. Alot of people take thier meds at night cause it makes them sleepy or nauseous.

Your cookies looked yummy! Stay positive and know that you just have to take it one day at a time. It's good Brent is getting some help too. Being a supportive husband can really take alot out of you. Your lucky to have each other. Happy day and smiles right back at ya!

Hugs - Jen

Sarah C said...

Gorgeous flowers. Glad Brent's getting some help too. Can I have one of those cookies, I love banana flavoured anything and lemon icing's delish. Keep strong and happy xxx

RobertS of Anaheim said...

So happy to hear that things are going so well for you. Enjoy your family and friends! I know you bring a spark to my life every morning with all you do...

Miss Behaving said...

Dearest Bee Bee,

Long time reader, permanent fan. My name is Renee, I'm bipolar with chronic anxiety but I'm medicated and working and growing with my illness, managing it day to day is my challenge sometimes.

A few things, I feel I must say - I'm like you in so many ways, would have prefered this to be an email BUT you do have a thingy saying it's jam packed and I need you to read this, I think.

OK, I am so glad you have stuck to journaling, it clearly helps you organise your thoughts, remind you of who you innately are and you are a damn fine artist, the best in the biz at what u do, I have ALL of your freebies (just a student, or I would have em all).

Depression can be cured, like a phase, it can pass and it can also reoccur, this is why we need to keep emotionally fit and healthy, just like our outsides. We all have a depression or two in life, more than ever we are expected to do more in littler time because we need to make a living, raise kids, be gorgeous girlfriends and precious partners to our spouses.

Prozac is not a medication that you can decide to stop taking as it wasn't really your thing (speaking from experience, and this was eons ago when it was just depression they thought) I just wanted to make that clear - because after 14 days especially you will have enough in your system to start to feel the effects. Your doctor should have told you all of this, but I kinda care about you too much not to make sure he did. Especially cos I know this is all new to you - not the emotions but the treatment.

Miss Behaving said...

It can take some time and tweaking to find the right dose or even medication - as you are finding out with even just the dosage time.
Listen to your body and do not feel ashamed to tell people if you feel unable to do something you would usually do. I know you LOVE to shop, but go easy doing your usual routine, if you always do what you have always done - you may just get what you already got.

This is why private journaling - good for beth. Blogging - good for you and seeing ppl - good. The washing pile is not a measure of a woman, nor is it our waistline.
It is our spirit, and you are strong and beautiful and draw people to you from all around the world, and close to your heart.
It's a process, a journey and you will learn a lot, and so will those around you. Some may not like the changes you may need to make, but in the end - you do need to realise your limits and how to say no or even, Can I get back to you on that? Believe me, I had to actually learn these lines from my partner - no one had ever taught me how to do it. I always said yes, and thought well I just have to do it, especially now, as I said yes.
You often say you are lazy, girlfriend I get tired just imagining your day. You are up doing freebies at 10pm some nights, and I love em - but you know what?
I love you more. If your tired, we can wait. Blog can wait. You shouldn't always put mummy last in the line, even though we naturally do this as amazing women. I have NO children of my own, and I love reading your blog and vicariously seeing your life, your honesty and chatter is so pure. You, like me, have the rare ability to be quite public with things people would never have the gall to admit about themselves, (I will email you my blog - and u will see what I mean)
I do it not for attention, but to help maybe that one person (and lets face it you did get 200 comments - you have some serious fans lol) as well as thats just who I am. I love you put yourself out there, and you keep it real.
Such a gift, to us all and also to the people who love you.

Just remember it's a process ok.
If you make any decision about the meds, please let your DR know first. Prozac is a bit of a catch all for the depression, and quite dated. I have no knowledge of your health, so I cannot say it seems an odd fit, but I will say be careful.
If you don't notice a change, give it three weeks and keep doing your eating and nuturing the body - it is such an amazing thing our body, and I am so pleased you are eating and letting it heal. Please treasure it, you are so worth it.

Miss Renee
(if this post deletes itself I am gonna scream - I hope I do this login ok, otherwise I will just pray all this, ha ha!)

deb said...

Thank you for the word art. Glad you and Brett both get to talk to someone.

Marilou said...

Hi Shiny Lady!! I'm pleased to read that both you and Brent are seeking help. That's gotta help!!

Thank you for the new WA!!

helen scott said...

I love those flowers, the fact that you can then have a happy coffee sounds fab!
Not sure about the pills making you slepy I have always taken meds at night because my mornings are too rushed with the kiddies, if I remember right it takes 3 weeks for your body to work properly with them so stick with it - they do work!
Glad Brent has decided to start talking, might be worth reminding him that you love him for him - not because he's superman.

Cheers for the WA, love and prayers for all


Briteiis said...

Hi Bethany So glad you're doing much better. I agree with Hilary re your meds. I take my anti-depressants at bedtime. They do tend to make one sleepy and I always see the bottle by the bed before I go to bed so for me it's easier to remember to take them (p.s. I also take sleeping meds so definitely bedtime works for me)

Sabrina said...

Sounds busy but still productive. Glad things are getting better, even if slowly.

Love the word art. Hubby will play the video for our daughter when she gets fussy; she loves it.

KJ said...

Love this word art! thanks for sharing.

Allanna said...

I'm so, so, SO PROUD of you!

I'm glad that the visit with the therapist is helping. He sounds like good people. ^_^

And that was very sweet and wonderful of your Scrapbookgraphics folks to send you flowers. ^_^

Also, your cookies look DELICIOUS!

stamps3223 said...

I'm glad to see you're doing better.I've been following along through out your ordeal. I know how you feel and felt I've been there too. I take the Prozac as well and was told to take it in the morning. Check with your doctor but after a couple of weeks you'll be adjusted to it.

Anonymous said...


Have you seen your regular doctor in the midst of all of this? Have they done bloodwork lately? With all of the weight that you've lost anemia or a B12 deficiency could be adding to things!! Please just check to make sure they don't miss anything.

Kathy said...

Hi, Bethany!
When I first started taking antidepressants, I started with Prozac. It made me jittery, but everyone is different; drowsiness is also a common side effect. I ended up switching to Effexor XR because the Prozac caused too many stomach problems. Time of day definitely makes a difference; if it makes you sleepy, take it at night. Just do NOT stop taking it abruptly!!! The combination of the meds and the therapy are both needed to help you heal. And thank you for all the enjoyment you've given me with your wordarts. I use scrapbooking to help me deal with my depression and anxiety. Art is just another form of therapy, of self-expression.

MouserMo said...

Thank you for your freebies. Link on your post was added to PickleMouse freebie list

Stephanie said...

Hey Beth! Glad things are moving in the right direction - for all of you! You look lovely in your black blouse (and the yellow flowers are a perfect compliment)! Keep puttin' one foot in front of the other! Love ya!