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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Something Smells Fishy

Well, I think that it finally hit me today. All of the weight of what happened. I woke up at 6:45am. Actually, I woke up at 4:00am. And had a hard time falling back asleep. But then must have, and woke up at 6:45am. And somehow managed to get the kids ready for the bus. Tom left at 7am, and the other kids and I walked over to the bus stop at 7:20am.

I chatted with the moms for about 10 minutes. There were about 5 of us there this morning. It's been a while since moms came to the bus! Good job, girls! hehe.

I headed back home, and just wasn't feeling it. I was sad. And depressed. And weepy. And not feeling good. I'd committed my kid. I kept bursting out in tears. I pulled out my computer, and managed to design 2 more WordArt packs. That finished off what I needed for the week. I texted with Kari for a bit, and told her that I was feeling pathetic and wasn't gonna go to volunteer today. Because I couldn't keep it together long enough to do anything. It wouldn't be good to be in the school and burst out in tears.

And Yoga was a no go either. No crying in Yoga, right? Even though it may have worked out some of my uber sore muscles. I sure didn't feel good. I went and got my Elmo blankie, and snuggled up on the couch. And cried myself into a nap. And slept until around 1pm. Sometimes you just have to have a "feel sorry for yourself day", right? I'm allowed that? Just for today, you say? OK, Just for today...

Terra texted and said that she was at Walmart, and I asked if she'd get me some milk, since we were out. And she got me a McFlurry from McDonadls too, since I was having such a crappy day. She knew that Oreo was my favorite because she's JUST that good. Thanks, my dear! You ROCK!

And she told me that I wasn't allowed to wallor in the house anymore. OK, today was it. I'm done after today :) I'm not used to getting beat up. I don't like it!

I laid on the couch and texted and facebooked until Tom came home at 3ish. I ended up putting a post on Col Joe's Facebook page, asking if it was ok to have a Stun Gun on post. Just trying to make plans for when Jake came back. And a few people left posts saying it was against regulations, and phone numbers of places to call for more info.

So I called around. First, to the MP's. Then another MP's office. Then got the number for Legal. Then the number for a different legal office. Finally, I got the number that I needed to speak to the right person. I asked what I needed to do to get a waiver to have a stun gun, and told him my story. He said that he'd see what he could do, and took my name and number and that he'd get back to me tomorrow.

And then it was time to go to the bus. And I was still in my jammies. So I headed to the bus in my jammies again. Oh well. Might as well complete "feel like crap" day, right? After the bus, we headed home real fast, gathered up our stuff, kids changed into their basketball clothes for later, and we headed for the library. It was educational movie day.

As I was driving there, Jake's regular therapist called. I'd called the office earlier in the day and told them that he wasn't gonna make his appointment tomorrow because he was in the facility. So the therapist was calling to get the details. I said that I'd call her when I got to the library.

I let the kids go in when we got there, and I called her back. She was concerned that these types of places are usually too much fun for the teens. It's too much like a summer camp. Not strict enough. Not mean enough. Not "I just beat up my mom" harsh enough. She said that when I got to visit him on Thursday, that I need to be serious, and let him stew on things for a bit. To tell him that I don't know how I feel about things. That I don't know if things can go back to the way that they were again. That I'm scared because you beat me up. That you hurt me. To let him know how badly he messed things up. Let him know how serious this is.

She also wants me to keep her in the loop as to the procedures on post for this type of thing. She hasn't had a lot of experience with these types of cases on post, and wants to know for next time. I said that I'd keep her in the loop.

I headed into the library, and joined my friends and kids. Maggie and Kari and Amanda were there with the kids. They were watching a movie about asteroids or something like that. The moms chatted, and the kids watched the movie.

I got most of a WordArt pack designed, and soon it was time to pack up and head out. Kari took Joe and Leo and headed to the location for their basketball practice. I took Eme and Tom and Jim and Amanda, and dropped Tom and Eme off at the location for their basketball practice. Eme's was first, and Tom's was an hour later. But Tom had a book, and could just hang for a bit. He's a bit kid.

And then we went and met Kari and hung at the practice. And there was a lady from church there. Her little girl was on the boys' team! And I totally don't know her name. Oops. I'll catch it soon, I'm sure. I hope. LOL. Deborah, maybe?

Anyway, we kept checking the Col Joe page, and discovered that he'd responded, and said that Stun Guns were banned on post. Whaaaat? He said that I should just focus on calling the authorities... Seriously? Ok, I was mad now. So I composed this comeback that involved me getting beat up, my kid having aspergers, and the legal guy being an @$$ and not helping me.

Well, within about 15 minutes, Col Joe got back on there, and told me that I should take the post down, and email him privately. Because this shouldn't be talked about in an open forum. But wait. Maybe it should. Maybe domestic violence SHOULD be talked about in the open.

If I am having this problem, I bet there are others having this problem too. I can't be the only one out there. It's one thing that this blog has taught me. It's one thing that being open and vocal has taught me. There are MANY people out there that feel the same way, and who are going through the same thing as me. I think that they need to hear this...

Anyway, I responded that I'd take it down when I got home, because I didn't know how to from my phone. And we continued to watch the practice and the little kids. And soon it was time to go.

I went and talked to the front desk, and got Tom's guitar lessons postponed until December. Jake's little freak out made it not possible for Tom to take the lessons in November. Sorry, Tom. Next month, hon!

Then we headed back to post. But stopped at Little Cesars for some Pizza's first. And we took them to the Youth Center. Eme had gotten a ride home with her coach. Who just happens to be Ms Rebecca! But Tom was still at the Youth Center for another 30 minutes. We sat down in the cafe area, bummed some plates out of the kitchen, and had dinner. The little boys did really well sitting and eating (that happens if you starve them good enough - hehe), and Amanda and I had fun creating a High School list. See, we went through, and tried to decide when all of our friends graduated in relation to each other. So if Kim was a senior, then me and Kari, Julie, and Marot would be 8th graders, Veronica would be a 7th grader, Rebecca a 6th grader, Amanda and Crystal would be 5th graders, Terra a 4th grader, and little Maggie would be a Kindergartner. Funny, huh? I thought it was awesome to put it in that perspective!!! I can't wait to get everyone elses graduation year. ROFL! I'm such a dork! Captain America would be a Senior too!

Soon, it was 7:30 and Tom was done with practice. We finished up, and headed out. I dropped Amanda off at her house, and came back home. The dog had made another mess with the trash. Freaking dog. We try and be nice and let him stay on his chain. But I think it might be the kennel for him from now on.... But I did like that heavy rock in the bottom of the trash can idea. Tom and Eme and I cleaned up the mess. And Eme got some pizza. We were nice and saved her pizza.

It was almost time for bed. I helped Joe with his homework, and put Jim to bed. Then Joe. Eme went next, and Tom had some more homework to work on. And I sat down and worked quite a while composing a letter to Col Joe. He's the post garrison commander, I think. I hope that it doesn't get Captain America in trouble. He DID say to email him personally, though. So I did. I was just following orders. And I BCC'd it to several of my friends and family members. Because I wanted to get their perspectives on whether is was ok or not. hehe.

And I started in on my blog. And Facebook chatted on and off with Andrea, while texting with Kim and Kari and Terra and Amanda. Yeah, it was slow going tonight. hehe. It's now 11:13pm. And I started this all at 8:30pm. Multitasking takes a long time. ROFL!

I also got a call from the facility that Jake was at, requesting permission to switch his meds. No more Risperdol. They wanted him on Serequel and Abilify. OK. I google searched them. I don't know a lot about meds. Abilify is another one used to treat irritability associated with Autism. Kim's kid is on it. She said it has the weight gain side effect. Nice...

Anyway, it's late. And I need sleep. I don't have to get up quite as early, but I still need sleep. Tomorrow, I wanna try and get a copy of the police report. Or at least find out how "cooler than words" legal dude was. So I can put a name with a "cool guy" face. I'm think about filing a complaint.

And we're going to lunch at Olive Garden. In sister wife dresses, of course. Cause we're cool like that. hehe. I wish I had a sweater to wear over mine like Amanda did. That would be perfect...

And Amanda wants to go to Toys R Us too. We shall see. I need to get out of the house tomorrow. No more sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I'm at my quota for that. Terra said so - hehe :) And what Terra says goes - hehe :) Love ya, girl!

Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work. Thanks!

Great fishing layout, Sharon! I love it! Those are great colors :) Thanks, my dear :)


CBH said...

Thank you so much for this post. I want to let you know that I posted a link to your blog in CBH Digital Scrapbooking Freebies, under the Page 5 post on Nov. 09, 2011. Thanks again.

Anonymous said...

I've been thinking about you and your experiences with Jake over the past few days and I haven't reached any conclusions. Although I do think you were entirely justified in spending a day snuggled in your jammies. You have so much going on with the kids, with the husband away, with the church, with your store, and with family and friends. I don't know how you manage on a normal day, so adding Jake's assault on you would bring even a super-mom like you to the breaking point.

Anonymous said...

Just a quick note to let you know that a link to this post will be placed on CraftCrave in the DigiFree category today [10 Nov 02:00am GMT]. Thanks, Maria

Psamanthe said...


I just want you to know that I've been keeping you and Jake in my heart. I didn't know all of this was going on and it breaks my heart. I have been reading for the majority of the last 24 hours trying to get a grasp on what's going on there. And I'm curious. Meltdowns are caused by over-stimulation caused by out-of-control anxiety. Just wondering why they're only using anti-psychotics and not anti-anxiety meds? Perhaps I just haven't read far enough to get that answer.
I've known you most of my life. You're a good person and a good mom. When not in meltdown, you and Jake have a wonderful relationship. Hold that close. That's what will get you through this. My biggest fear for you is that in all this turmoil, that relationship will be buried and lost.
If ever you need a shoulder and an ear... IM me on FB... I'm always here for you!
~ Krista

Kelley said...

Oh the tough days we go through. I've had days when bed is the best place to stay. Once in a while, we need the time to regroup. Keeping busy may keep you going but still take time to cry out to Christ and share with him.

Thank you for today's word art.

ApriltheScrapaholic said...

Love this one...Thank you.