A Kiss Just For You

Seriously??? You wouldn't even believe the day I had. Awful. Horrible. One of the worst days ever. And you know me. I'm happy go lucky. I'm positive. I'm fun. Yeah, not so much today. I think I sobbed all day long.... Well, not all day.

Started out ok. A girl from church and her hubby were gonna stop by and give little Joe a blessing around 9am, because he was SO sick yesterday, but he woke up better. Feeling fine. So I got ahold of her, and let her know that they didn't need to stop by.

And around 9:30am, we started on chores. The chores didn't get done yesterday, so it was pretty messy. I woke up Jake, since he was the only kid asleep, and had him get stated too. And he was SO grouchy. Overly grouchy. Extremely grouchy.

But we plugged along. I started cleaning my room, since it was pretty messy too. I got the clothes separated into piles, and I went to check on the kids. And Jake was being mean and yelling at everyone. And wasn't doing his chores well, so I had to tell him what he was doing wrong (you have to move the chairs to sweep in the dining room, or it doesn't really get clean).

And apparently, that was his last straw. Cause he snapped. He started yelling about he was DONE cleaning, and that he'd be spending the rest of the day in his room, and huffed off to his room. So I followed him up there, MAD MAD MAD.

And he locked himself inside the room. So I unlocked it, and tried to press the door open, but he was holding it. And yeah, it wasn't budging. AT ALL. Crap. Now what was I gonna do. I stood there for a little bit, and tried a few more times, to which is practically taunted me, and then I gave up and came back downstairs.

And went to my room, and prayed. I didn't know what else to do. And my next thought was that I needed to talk to someone. So I called my inlaws, but no one answered. So I texted Terra. And went back upstairs a few more times to reason with him, and he was still grouchy and belligerent.

And I couldn't take it anymore. And the waterworks started. And I cried and cried and cried. What was I gonna do with the child. I don't think I can handle many more days like these. And Terra said that she'd be right over. Cause she could tell that I needed someone.

And she came over, with a power screw drive. We were gonna get that door off! So up stairs we went, and the two of us tried to get the door open. Yeah, TOTALLY not working. And he was taunting me again. We saw that he'd propped a chair behind the door, and that's why we couldn't get it to oepn. She called her hubby to see what we should do, and we noticed out the upstairs window that he was on the balcony!!! He'd climbed out his window, and was gonna run.

Crap. And he was down, and away. Now what? We got the door open, and yup, he was gone. So we called the MP's. Because I didn't know what else to do. I really didn't. And I was sobbing again by this point.

The police came, and there were like 5 cars on our street. And they took the story, like 5 times, and wrote it all down. And tried to figure out where he'd go. And what he'd do. I really figured that he'd be close. He's not an "exerciser", and walking too far isn't his MO. But then, I didn't know for sure what he was doing.

They took a picture of him from the house, and printed up some "Have you seen this missing child" poster of sorts, and distributed it to all the MP's throughout post, and to the gate guards. And the guards at Pershing gate said that they'd seen him leave!!!! Holy crap. Yeah, that's SO not what I was expecting him to do!

The MP's said that because he walked off of post, that their jurisdiction was over, and there was nothing they could do. It was turned over to the El Paso police department, and they suggested that I drive around the blocks right outside of post.

I finished filling out all of the paperwork, and really was at a loss as to what to do. I dropped Eme and Tom off at Kari's house, and took Joe and Jim in the suburban, and off we went, to drive around looking for my 13 year old autistic run away. Sigh. Terra was driving around looking too. And MP's were stationed at the gates to wait and see if he'd come back.

I talked with my inlaws, and my mom, and my friend Andrea, on my earpiece, all the while driving around. And it was 1:30pm. And the kids were starving. So we stopped by McDonalds on Dyer, and grabbed some burgers. And I ate 3 naked burgers (without the buns). And felt sick.

And I drove around more. And more. And more. And had to pee. So I headed home. And I asked at the gate I came in through if they'd seen him, and no, they hadn't. So I went home. And pulled into the driveway. And Jacob came out of the outside shed. He said that he'd been in there the whole time. (see, my first thought that he was close was right!)

So the Gate Guards had mis-ID'd him. And I'd worried that he was roaming the streets of El Paso. I was so mad. I was so upset. I didn't know what to feel or think or do. I told him that all of the MP's on post were out looking for him, and that the El Paso police were looking for him, and that he had all of us worried. And I don't think that he really got how serious it was. I sent him to his room, and proceeded to call/text everyone and let them know that he was home.

I called back the MP's, and asked if they'd come by and talk to him. Scare some sense into him. And the MP said that because Jake is autistic, that they couldn't. Sigh. I guess I was on my own.

I called my friend Charlotte, and she said that she was coming over to bring me a DDP and visit for a while. Thank goodness! Jake came back downstairs, and had some food, and kinda followed me around from room to room. He was very contrite. And very meek. And very repentant. But I was still upset.

And I decided that it would be best for him to be in the downstairs bedroom. So that I could keep a closer eye on him. And I told Tom that he was my new babysitter. Jake was "fired". And Tom could earn some money. He'd already taken the babysitter class, so Tom is good to go! And I'm putting Jake back in Public School. I'm not gonna have a disrespectful child around.... And maybe some special ed classes will do him good. So I told him all of these plans. And he accepted them very meekly.

So we started moving around bedrooms. And that's a LOT more work than I anticipated. First we moved EVE RYTHING out of the little kids' room into the dining room. Yeah, HUGE mess.

And then Charlotte came over with her kids. And had fun playing with my kids and all of the toys in the dining room. Ha! She'd brought skittles for all of my kids, and me a 54 oz DDP. Such a life saver. He 12 year old daughter was recently diagnosed with depression, and she's been seeing a therapist on post. And she gave me the phone number. But the dude was on vacation, so I'm gonna call on Monday. And she stayed for about an hour, and we chatted and the kids played, and I got my mind off of the horrible situation that was playing out.

And then she went home, and we kept cleaning. And cleaning. And cleaning. And half way through the project, I got overwhelmed, and found myself alone in the kitchen, sobbing again. And Jake came up, and hugged me, and rubbed my back, and my arm, and tried to comfort me. I really don't know what to do with the child. I know it's the "Autism" that I'm having a hard time with, and not "him". He is a good kid. He really is.

So we plugged along. And finally, the rooms were mostly switched. The dining room is still pretty messy, but all in all, it looks pretty good. It's now almost 9pm. And the kids are eating Ramen. Because I'm not a good mom today, and I didn't cook. I haven't eaten since the naked burgers from McDonalds. Wait. I had 2 more naked burgers at home, and an apple. Does that count as food? Maybe that's why I feel like crap right now.

I need to send the kids to bed. And have a good cry. Again. And wake up refreshed in the morning. And ready for the day. Happy. And positive. And renewed. Because I can't handle another day like today. Really, I can't... Pray for me that tomorrow is a fabulous day. Because I need some fabulous-ness after the day I had today...

I made this WordArt for a homemade Valentines card for my girl, Andrea. She had a picture of her son, Ben, kissing at the camera and holding out his hand. And she glued a Hurshey's kiss to the card. It was SO stinking cutE! And I made the WordArt for it. And now you get it! So enjoy!

Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work. Thanks!

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