Welcome to my Site

You can reach me at: bnbharty@gmail.com and I'll try my best to answer. I get a crazy amount of email, so PLEASE don't hate me if you don't hear back from me. Love ya!

Click here for my Terms of Use

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Bringing Home the Bacon

Well, it started off good. A lot of days start off good, then go somewhat downhill. Know what I mean? Ever feel that way? Like they get somewhat out of control, and you can't stop them? Actually, the majority of the day was pretty good. All the way until the evening, in fact...

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I woke up when I was supposed to, got up for Seminary, and headed out with Jake. We listened to scriptures all the way there, I said my prayers, and took a nap. We drove back home, said Family prayer, and got Tom to the bus. I got Jim and Joe and Eme ready for school, then got them on the bus. Then I got Jake ready for school, and I went back to bed until 8:30am.

I got up, cranked the tunes real loud, and showered. And got ready for my therapy appointment. I put on a new skirt that I'd got at Savers on Monday, with the new tank top I'd gotten. And a gray sweater. I liked the outfit.

And I wasn't as focused getting ready as I should have been, so I was about 8 minutes late. But it was OK, because Dr Slade was the exact same minutes late. So it all worked out. hehe. See, I was right on time. LOL :)

You know, him being late does not encourage me to be on time...

It was a good session. We talked about communication between Captain America and I. And about self esteem. And about trust and respect. And about my sales dilemma, and my prompting on how to fix it. How if I were to say my prayers and read my scriptures, that I'd increase my sales. And how between last paycheck and this one, my sales increased 4x!!! Amazing, huh? Heavenly Father answers prayers and promptings...

Anyway, it was a productive session. He asked what I wanted to work on for this month, and I committed myself to losing 10 lbs. It's time that I "got back on the wagon". Of course, as I sit here and blog and eat this raspberry danish twist, I'm not sticking to the plan. But after my evening, sue me...

Anyway, I headed home, but swung by Fallas Paredes on the way home. I wanted to pick up some new stuff for the downstairs bathroom. My kids had taken scissors to the shower curtain. I know, right? Who does that??? Freakin' kids!

I found the perfect shower curtain, and rug, and trash can, and towels, and such. My bathroom was gonna look fabulous! I paid and headed home. But first, I swung by McDonalds to grab a dollar soda. For me and Amanda. She was stuck at home doing a paper for a class.

I had just enough time to drop it off, and get back home and change clothes before Kari came to pick me up for Yoga. We headed out for John's class. Because Megan, the worlds best Yoga teacher EVER retired. SO sad :( I'll miss you, Megan :(

We got to John's class a few minutes late, and snuck in. I like how Megan tricked you into having a good workout. You seriously didn't realize you were doing anything strenuous. But you know you're working out with John. It's hard! My legs and arms were shaking so bad!

We Yoga-ed for about an hour, then headed out. We stopped by the post office on the way home, cause Kari needed to mail a package. Then by CYS to fix some Paperwork for Leo. Then headed home. Kari dropped me off, and I cleaned and re-did the bathroom. And it looked SO much better when I was done! I should have taken a picture, huh???

I cleaned up in the living room for a little bit, and even had time to watch and episode of Warehouse 13. Soon, it was time to and get the kids from the bus. I headed on over in the truck, and hung with Amanda and Crystal for a bit. Then, the kids came home, and we all loaded up and headed to the library. Amanda got there first, and said that the new kids librarian wasn't gonna start the movie. We were a few minutes late, and she said that because we weren't there at 3pm, they wouldn't start the movie?? Oh no. That excuse wasn't gonna work. Amanda said she tried, and they said no. Kari and I would fix it.

So we went and found the lady. She told us the same thing she told Amanda. And we asked who her boss was. Who was in charge. That's who we wanted to talk to. She said the lady was over in the adult section. So off Kari and I went. And even before we got there, the lady got it figured out. Amazing how fast results you get when you start going up the chain of command!

See, the bus doesn't even let the kids off until 3:45pm. So why in the world would you have an after school program at 3pm? It doesn't make sense? Of course, we could go and talk to public school and see if they could change the ending of school to accommodate the Ft Bliss library schedule. I'm sure THAT would make sense.... But we didn't need to play that card... Luckily I didn't need to go there... Funny, because I was NEVER that girl. Anyone who used to know me knew that I would NEVER be one to complain or make a fuss to get my way. Well, that's me now. I'm good at getting my way. hehe. And very vocal. Oh yeah, overly vocal. Embarrassingly vocal. hehehe :) Sorry, girls.

So, they started the educational movie for our kids. It was Amanda and her 1 kid, Kari and her 2, me and my 3 (Jake was at the Youth Center and Tom was at Ross Fit), Liz and her 2 (Amanda's neighbor), and Julia (from the neighborhood) and her 2. Quite a good turn out, wouldn't you say???

The moms played on their laptops or worked on projects/read books, and the kids watched the movie/worked on homework. It was a great Tuesday afternoon. We had cheese puffs and popcorn for the kids for snack.

After the movie, we took the kids outside to see the Japanese garden. But they wanted to play around in it a bit too much, so we had to move them to the grassy field next to it. It was still a bit too much of a temptation for them. hehe. They climbed some trees, and played duck duck goose.

Well, it was kinda duck duck goose. Idiot, idiot, super idiot. Or princess, princess, something else insulting (cause the boys were saying it). Or chicken chicken ham. Our kids are strange, I know... Look how happy everyone looks in these pictures. hehe. We stayed and let the kids play until someone got hurt. Then it was time to go home. ROFL! Isn't that the way it always works. You stay until there are tears. LOL!

It was a little before 6pm when we headed out. And we decided to go and pick up Jake from the Youth Center. And as I was turning onto Jeb Stuart road, I got a text from him, asking if I'd come and pick him up. Perfect timing!

I had to use the bathroom when I got to the youth center, and when I got out to the car, Jake was physically dragging Eme out of the front seat. She was sobbing, laying on the ground. Sigh. This was NOT a good sign.

See, we have the 100 lb rule in our family. Not based on age. Based on weight. Once you hit 100 lbs, you can sit in the front seat. And she's hit the mark. So she gets turns in the front seat. Well, he decided that it was his turn. So he ordered her out. And she refused. So he physically removed her. SO not his call.

I told him to get in the back, and put her back in the front. And yeah, the evening kinda went downhill from there. I had to pull over once on the way home so he could buckle his seatbelt for real. It was only fake buckled. I didn't realize it at first. He slammed the door real big, too. Sigh.

We got home, and had about 45 minutes before bedtime. Tom hadn't done any chores. We had bologna sandwiches and ramen for dinner. Well, the kids did. I had an egg sandwich and some fruit. And then we started on chores.

Everyone seemed to be doing ok cleaning. Jake got his chores done pretty quickly. And took the dog outside to play. And Jim went outside to play with Jake and the dog. And knocked over a chair, or something like that. And Jake freaked out, and ordered Jim to pick up the chair. And when Jim wouldn't, Jake chased him back inside the house. And Jim ran inside as fast as he could, and knocked over Boxers dog food in his flight to escape Jake.

Then Jake was REALLY mad, and came after Jim to get him to clean up the Dog Food mess. And Jim ran to me in my room. And Jim tried to hid behind me. And Jake caught him, and threw him onto the couch in my room. And pushed me out of the way, and hit Jim real hard on the back. I pushed Jake out of my room, and Jake pushed me back. And Jake and I fought a little bit in the living room.

I was super tired of Jake pushing people around. He thinks because he is bigger than people, he can get away with being a bully. And I really don't like it. The other kids saw us fighting, and Tom and Joe and Jim instantly grabbed their favorite electronics and hid them. Eme cowered in the kitchen and hid. How sad it that...

Jake pushed me around a little bit more, and I ended up ripping his favorite shirt and he broke my bracelet. I got my hand scratched up by his fingernails and got pushed down on the couch. And he stormed off into the backyard to play with the dog.

And I followed after him, then locked him outside. And had the kids help me lock all of the doors. I didn't want him coming back inside while he was being violent. Or potentially being violent. We shut and locked all of the windows too. Even thought I was pretty sure that he was calmed down, I didn't want him in the same rooms as the other kids while they were awake. He could come back inside when they went to bed. It was only about 20-30 minutes.

He continued to play with the dog for about 5 more minutes, then realized that he was locked outside. And got angry. He wanted back inside. And started pounding on the door. I told him that if he pounded too hard, that he'd break the door. And that if he broke the door, that it would be destroying government property, and that I'd call the MP's and they'd take him away if he did. And I totally would. Because I was SO upset with him. And he didn't wanna push it tonight. I'd had enough. So he hit the door not hard enough to break it, but hard enough to be annoying...

And he was getting madder and madder. Then he started swearing at us. To bleepety bleepen let him in!!!! Right now! Sigh. I sure don't talk that way! I did pull out my camera at one point and take a video of him freaking out. It was quite scary. He looked like he was gonna take someone out. Then he pulled out a lawn chair and started beating THAT against the glass door. Did I mention that it was a glass door???? Dang...

And then he stopped. The little kids were freaking out because they were just POSITIVE that he'd gone to the shed to get a bat. Or a shovel. And he was pissed off. And he was gonna come and take us all out. And I had every horror show running through my mind. We were all gonna end up being murdered by my own kid. OK, so maybe not. But you know how your imagination runs wild on you. I'd texted Kari a little bit before to tell her that Jake was mad and was trying to break into the house and that I'd locked him out.

We heard a knock at the door, and Tom went and looked through the peep hole. It was Kari. We made sure it was just here, and we let her in. She said that Brain (her hubby) was at the park with Jake. Boxer had jumped the fence, and Jake was at the park looking for him. Brian was helping him. Kari had come to check on us. I was sorry to drag my friends into it, but relieved at the same time. It's good to have close friends, you know. People who understand what you are going through, and love you just the same. Thanks, you guys :)

Once she saw that we were ok, she headed back home. We finished up our chores, I helped the kids with their homework, and I put the kids to bed. They were all in bed by 8:15pm. And by 9:00pm, Jake was back home. I finally got myself settled down and composed by 9:30pm. And I started blogging. I was texting with my friends before that. Luckily, I have a very large support system of friends. Many of whom have special needs kids. It's SO helpful, you know. They know EXACTLY what I'm going through! And what to say to make me feel normal. hehe :) Thanks, girls!!! I only hope that I can do the same for you :)

We have counseling for Jake tomorrow, and I hope that she can help us process the situation. I'm gonna show her the little 30 second video from tonight, and tell her about all the aggression as of late. How he keeps being physical towards his siblings. Especially Jimmy. He's really mean to that poor kid. Well, and Tom too. He was beating him up at church on Sunday too, now that I think of it. Sigh. I really hope that it gets better when Captain America comes back home. Can these next two months just zip by, please???

So after therapy tomorrow, a group of us are gonna go and see Apollo 13. Is that the name of it? It's Apollo something. The space and aliens one. I'm excited for it. I like scary movies, you know. And Eme has piano lessons tomorrow. We need to go and get a cord for the electric piano so she can practice.

And then Eme and Jim have games and pizza parties and awards cermimonies tomorrow. And Jake and Eme have Wednesday night activities. We moved Joe's scouts to Saturday. Busy busy busy... Not time for aggressive asperger teens...

Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work. Thanks!

What a cute kit, Sharon! Loving the train and the plane! Where'd ya get it at???


CBH said...

Thank you so much for this post. I want to let you know that I posted a link to your blog in CBH Digital Scrapbooking Freebies, under the Page 6 post on Nov. 02, 2011. Thanks again.

marie said...

I am so sorry you had such a terrible evening. My youngest son is also special needs with different issues.
I hope that today will be a better day for everyone.

Anonymous said...

Just a quick note to let you know that a link to this post will be placed on CraftCrave in the DigiFree category today [03 Nov 02:00am GMT]. Thanks, Maria

MemoryKeeper said...

Bethany, one thing that MAY help is to establish rules about riding in the car. We used to allow our kids to have "their day" each week. Who's ever day it was, that's who got to sit in front, chose the movie, get the special treatments. I made the older kids the weekends and the younger ones during the week. The oldest two get the two extra days. As they got older we changed it to weeks at a time. It worked really well. Whenever there was an argument, the solution was "Who's day is it?" So on those days the little kids aren't allowed to sit in the front you can let them pick their first choice in the back, and no one sits in the front. One aspect of Autism is to know what to expect. Right now the front seat to Jake seems to be "up for grabs," so that's what he does, but if he knows he only gets it for Seminary and his day, then it becomes established.

Praying for you sweetie!