Big Yawns

Yeah, so I was SO tired when I woke up to get the kids ready for the bus this morning. When you go to bed close to 4:30am, and get up at 6:55am, not so good :) I dragged my butt out of bed, and got the kids ready and going and prayed and out the door.

And Hilary texted at 7:30am to see how I was doing, and to say that she was starting to make phone calls about me seeing someone. Dang. It was all getting quite real. And I was starting to get scared. Like standing on a manhole scared. Or being on a tall building looking over the edge scared. Weird, huh? But it was eliciting that kind of response.

By 8:30am, she had called Telenurse and found a good place to call. Andrea had heard of the place too, and said it was good. So she called, and the could get me in on the 21st of September. Hmm. Ok. Phil was happy, at least :) Andrea didn't want it to be that far in the future.

Hilary came over, had me talk to the lady on the phone about insurance and such and got a little information, and that was it. So I guess I just deal with myself until then, right? Try and keep Phil at bay until then.

So we got Jimmy on the bus and Jake was already working on school, and we headed out to Savers. I didn't really need anything, but it was $0.99 day one colored tag day. Blue, today. And I found $4 worth of stuff. A jacket and a shirt and a blouse and a pair of jeans. Cool, huh?

And we found these treasures also...





Anyway, we looked around there for a bit, and my good mood was fading. I was regretting telling people anything at all, and all the attention on me, and talking about my problems and such. I was starting to get down. We paid, and headed to get a drink, then off to the next place.

Sometime at Savers, Captain America had texted and wanted to know about lunch plans. Hilary and I had talked about Carlos and Mickeys, but while I was really wanting to go, yeah, I didn't really want to eat either. And since I had 2 hours of sleep, and very little food, I was having a hard time keeping up with ALL of Captain Americas texts. I know, not a good sign. Anyway.

We had a textual misunderstanding, and he got his feelings a little hurt. He thought I wanted to just go play with my friends and no see him. And yeah, I did want to finish out the plans that I had already made, I still wanted to see him. I didn't know that he had lunch at the same time every day while at the field. I hadn't really paid attention to it enough to notice.

Anyway, we both got a little upset and feelings hurt through texts, and I couldn't handle it, burst into tears in the car, and told Hilary to take me home. Sigh. Poor thing felt really bad. And then I felt bad for making her feel bad. What a messed up lot we are... No wonder we're our only two friends. ha! No one else wants to hang out with the crazy girls! hehe.

Anyway, she dropped me off at home, and I went to visit with Captain America for about 20 minutes. I told her I'd be over to afterwords. Captain America had to be back to the field at a certain time, and I was still blubbering, so we sat in his car and chatted until he had to go.

He doesn't really know how to handle me. Cause he's a man, and wants to fix everything. And he doesn't know how to fix me. After I left, he called and chatted on his way to the field, and reassured me that he loved me and wanted to help me and do what he could to make me feel good. It was really sweet. Just what I needed to hear.

I hung with Hilary until it was time to get the kids from school. Her Phil was getting her down today too. We can't BOTH be down. Ha! That's not good.

We got kids home, and ran to Sam's real fast to pick up a few essentials, and some pizzas. Because pizzas are essentials, you know. And some yogurt from Walmart.

We picked up my kids on the way through post, and took them to Hilarys house. We cooked the pizzas, had Family Home Evening, had dinner, and hung.

Jannie was in charge of the lesson, and did a great job :)

Diet Dr Pepper, PLEASE make me happy. hehe

Yeah, I SO need to shower, wash my face, and NOT cry for 24 hours...

I was SO tired. Was it bed time yet?

A group of friends from church were playing Kickball at the field by Hilarys house, so we wandered down with all the kids.

Play? Yeah, not me. I'm anti sports that involve balls. hehe. So I sat and chatted and tired to stay awake and cheered and heckled the players. hehe. I swear Hilary and I act like we're 12 sometimes :) You know the "no sleep gigglies". Yeah, we totally had those :) It's better than being sad, though, right? My stupid mood swings :) At least we were having fun :)

So after the game on our way back home, we found these long pipes in the ground, and decided they looked like toilets. So we posed. Cause we're 12... ha!




After that, we headed back to her house. The kids made some kind of silly video, and we hung on the back porch and ate apples. Well, part of an apple, anyway.

We headed home shortly after, cause I was SO tired, and I got the kids into bed and homeworked and prayered and tried to clean up a bit. The house was messy. Jake did some dishes, I did a load or two of laundry, I hung up some of my clothes from the past few days, I organized the living room, and texted with Captain America for a while.

Then I started blogging, and texted Hilary briefly (she was even more tired than I am), and now I'm down to 10pm. And I'm exhausted. Need to make a quick freebie. Then host/post it, then I can go to sleep. Cause I'm sleepy :)

And I'm feeling pretty good right now. I went to bed feeling pretty good yesterday, and even woke up happy. The rest of the day kinda went downhill, but I think as long as I still have moments of good, then I'm ok. I really wonder what will happen when I go in on the 21st. What it's even all about. I didn't really ask too many questions, I just agreed to go and talk to someone. OK, not gonna dwell on that. Cause I'm in a good mood right now - ha!

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