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Sunday, September 12, 2010

Press Forward

Press forward. Who knew when I was designing this yesterday that it would be so fitting...

So anyway, you all know about my funk. Well, you know what I share with you about my funk. I've been feeling down and bad about myself for a while now. And I didn't really think anything about it. And yeah, I haven't been eating much of anything, and my thoughts were going down paths they shouldn't be going, and my friends/family finally stepped in. Sigh.

Long story short, I agreed to go and see someone about it. I don't know when it's gonna happen, but at some point, I'm gonna have an appointment with someone or another to talk about stuff. So there. OK, maybe I have a problem...

Anyway, Hilary came and picked me up this morning to go to the commissary to get stuff for cupcakes for Jimmy. It's his 5th birthday today! I know, September 11th is kinda a weird day for a birthday, but we still love him - hehe.

Hilarys husband is in the field too. So we figured that we could keep each other company while the men folk were gone. Saturday is usually a family day and couples night. Sniff. I miss you, Captain America :(

Anyway, we're doing Jim's real party after Captain America gets home from the field, but wanted to make his actual birthdate special too. So he picked strawberry cupcakes, so that's what we bought. And a frozen pizza for lunch.

We came back to my house, made the food, and she and I sat on the back porch and talked. About my "issues". And about how I needed to go and talk to someone. I hate admitting that I have problems, or asking for help from anyone. Sigh. But if it can help... I know I shouldn't be feeling these things about myself...

Anyway, she went back home, and we both got our kids ready for a movie on post. We went and saw "Cats & Dogs 2". Yeah, DUMB movie - ha! But the kids loved it. Good thing it was cheap - ROFL!

Captain America called during the movie, and I chatted with him outside the theater for a while. He was on his way from post to the field, and swung by the theater for a hug. Awe, SOOO sweet :) He has been real worried about me, and was glad that I finally agreed to go and talk to someone about it. It still kills me to even admit that I'm gonna go talk to someone... I don't like to talk....

Anyway, finished up the movie, and we all headed home. My kids played for a while, and I took a nap. And yeah, it was the longest hour. hehe. It's hard when Captain Americas gone, and I'm home with the kids all by myself, and I'm already not feeling very good about myself.

After dinner, my friends came and "Kidnapped" me. hehe. My kids were settled in for the night, and the girls and I went to do some shopping. I wasn't really into it, but glad for the company. I tried my best not to be too down in the dumps. I tried to put on my happy face. Really, I was glad that I wasn't alone.

We went to the Jewelry Box (and I didn't even buy anything), and Eve's, and Fallas, and Circle K, and Super Target. We dropped Aimee off at home, and Hilary and I went to Walmart to get some stuff that Captain America needed for the rest of his time in the field.

We checked on things at her house, then went to my house and designed an invite for the Pirate Party, which is on Friday, and are now waiting on it to be developed at Walgreens. Long, busy day. But busy is good for me. Keeps my mind off of other things that I shouldn't be dwelling on.

So I don't even know if this post made any sense or not. I have way too much caffeine in my system, and not enough food, and it's getting late. Thanks to everyone who's been encouraging me this whole time, and for all of the comments, and emails, and prayers. I hope that things will be ok. I'll keep you posted.

Click on the link below to go to my account to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work. Thanks!


Anonymous said...

It is good to hear that you are taking the next step toward your emotional health. Thank you so much for sharing your talent. I just wanted to let you know that you have the preview linked to box. 4 shared works fine.

Anonymous said...

You certainly have my thoughts and prayers... you will get through this funk...

Suzan a.k.a. Scrapping Dutch Chick said...

Bethany, go you for admitting you need help.
That's already the first step to get back to your happy self again.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers :)
I am sure you will get through all thia with such a great family, husband and such great friends!!!

You got my support even though I am just a big fan of your work and admirer for your way of showing your life, with and without the fun stuff. Hope Jimmy had a great birthday.

Take care
Big hugs from Holland,

deb said...

I'm so glad you are going to talk to someone about what is going on. Still in my prayers. Thank you for word art too!

Anonymous said...

Bethany~I am so glad to hear that you have agreed to go see someone for help. You can let go of any guilt or self-criticism that you are feeling about needing help. IT IS PERFECTLY OK TO NEED AND ASK FOR HELP! Take it from someone who has been there. Please, please, please, don't wait! The sooner you see someone, the sooner you will begin to feel better! God bless, and hang in there!

Kali said...

so glad to hear you are going to talk to someone Bethany :).. i've been doing that about 2 weeks now.. guess what, turns out you dont have to say a whole hell of alot. just give them the short story at first. Admitting it is the first step in getting through it. According to my worker the fact that I am trying to blog is good so your doing another good thing :).

Peggy S said...

This Press Forward wordart is really lovely. Thank you very much. Now I am glad to hear you will do what it says. You press forward and do what you can do, like getting some professional help, and leave the rest to the Lord. What I hear from my friends who have taken some meds for chemical issues is that the meds make them feel more like themselves. But it can take experimenting with dosages and varieties to find the right one, if you need to do meds. Maybe you won't need to, but I'm guessing you will to get things moving in the right direction. Good luck to you, and as Pres. Kimball used to say. "Do it!"

Marilou said...

Awww, Bethany, I'm so happy to read your post. I'm proud of you for being willing to open yourself up and seek help. I pray that the Lord will lead and guide you to just the right person. I'm also gonna keep praying for you sweet lady!! Big Hugs!!

Craftymumz Creations said...

THANK YOU so much for this one! I appreciate the religious wordart!

Lisa said...

Bethany, Thank you for the press forward.Continue on in the way He has called you. The mind is a battlefield, often when the enemy can't attack us from the outside he goes inside the mind. I pray you will be delivered from this attack quickly and you will learn something that will help someone else in the body of Christ.

I pray:|
Heavenly Father, I thank you for Bethany and her ministries. Thank you for placing Your hand over her and calling her by name. I ask you Father to heal her and touch her Lord. I ask you to place a hedge of protection around her, her home and her family. Cover them with the blood of Jesus that no evil will be able to touch them. I pray you will finish the word you have begun in her. I ask that she will be able to comrehend the width, the height, the depth of the love that You have for her. I trust that no weapon formed against her will ever prosper. I ask you help her to believe that you have declared the plans you have for her are to bless her and never to harm her, to give her a hope and a future. Please remind her every morning of your guidance, direction and wisdom. Show her the blessings you have written out for her days. Bless her in Jesus name and bring others who will lift up her arms while she seeks understanding from you. Continue to use her and enlarge her territory. Thank you Jesus that by Your stripes she is healed.
In Jesus name I pray, trusting and beleiving.
I hope that you will find yourself pressing forward and pushing every hinderance aside.

Mom2mykids said...

Bethany, you "sound" better today! Thanks so much for updating us. I've been worried about you ... I understand a bit of what you're going through because of some stuff I've been dealing with. Hugs to you (and me LOL)!! Thanks for the word art, it's very appropriate for me right now too!

brenda said...

Don't think of yourself as "weak" needing somebody to talk to about your issues. I look at it this way...you are "stronger than the normal person" because you have decided to discuss your issues...I have been in therapy and hubby calles it "rent a friend time" but you know it does help. It's nice to talk to somebody else that will be able to help you see things in another direction. Like my thereapist says.."you wouldnt' deny a diabetic insulun." would you? Try taking some vitamin b6 and 12 and really listen to what the therapist says...if you need help...well you dont' know me from a hole in the wall but I'm here.
Here's to mental health!