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Sunday, June 28, 2009


Hey girls! I thought I'd take a minute, and go over one of the sections from my marriage conference that I went to. Maybe if I do it in little chunks, then I'll actually do it. Sometimes to sit down and do something big takes a lot of time, so it doesn't get done. We'll see :) I'm writing it in Green, so if you don't wanna read it, just skip the green parts :)

This is a little recap of the "Resolving Conflict" part. They said that conflict is common to all marriages. I know when we got married, Captain America thought that we'd never fight. Boy was he in for a rude awakening - LOL!

They say that the first step to resolving conflict is to understand the anatomy of anger.
When we are hurt by our spouse, our natural tendency is to respond by either : Stuffing it (rejection, withdrawal) or Blowing it (anger, aggression, hostility). Why do we show anger? Well, we feel like our "rights" have been violated, our expectation have not been met, or we have been hurt. For some people, showing anger is easier to acknowledge than showing hurt. Anger is a God -given emotion. It in and of itself is not bad. It can be a motivation to resolve conflict. Anger can be a very dangerous weapon. It must be controlled. Uncontrolled anger can lead to: bitterness, resentment, depression, conflict with God, violence, or even murder. Unresolved conflict can multiply the intensity of future conflicts.

Resolving conflict requires loving confrontation. First, speak the truth with love. Second, approach the confrontation carefully (check your motivation, check your attitude, check the circumstances: timing, setting, etc), check to see if you're willing to accept confrontation as well as give it, approach it with prayer, and agree on the way you will discuss resolving conflicts.
One thing that they stressed was that we shouldn't be "Out to get" our spouse, or prove them wrong. This is the person that we love most in the world. We should remember this when approaching the conflict.

Resolving conflict requires forgiveness. The offender needs to seek forgiveness, and the offended needs to grant forgiveness. They talked about what granting forgiveness isnt:

NOT repression or pretending that something did not happen or that it did not hurt

NOT conditional

NOT forgetting

NOT impossible

Granting forgiveness is:

An attitude of letting go of resentment and my right to get even

An action that must be expressed by word and deed

A choice to set your spouse free from a debt or an offense that has occurred against you

The beginning of the healing process that leads to oneness.

They gave an analogy that really stuck with me. Actually, last time I was mad a Captain America, I thought about this, and it helped me forgive him. Actually, I can't even remember why I was mad at him.
"Harboring unforgiveness in your heart is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die". How true it is!

The process of reconciliation.
Forgiveness begins the process by which trust can be rebuilt. The offending partner must take the initiative in rebuilding trust. The offended partner must resist the natural tendency to rehearse the hurt.

They gave 7 A's of Forgiveness:

A - address everyone involved

A - avoid if, but, and maybe statements (don't make excuses)

A - admit specifically (both attitudes and actions)

A - Apologize (express sorrow)

A - Accept the consequences

A - Alter your behavior
A - Ask for forgiveness.

They talked about bringing down the "Wall" between people, and they said that it went up brick by brick, so it should come down brick by brick.

OK, hopefully that was readable. Looking back over it, I'm note sure if it even makes sense. Sorry, girls. I tried :)

So we had our garage sale yesterday morning. I was up at 6am, loaded up my junk, and headed down the street to Andreas house. The other girls were already there. I was slow. Hehehe. My lack of sleep is catching up with me.

Boy was it HOT. The neighbor down the street was having a garage sale too, and we used her advertising to our advantage. Her sign said "7am till too hot" ROFL! I thought it was SO cute :) Anyway, we attracted all of her customers when they were done with her house. Worked for us.

Last week, I made $10. This week, I made $20. Not too bad. Plus, there were a few guys who said that they wanted to buy all of our stuff after we "closed up shop". Hes supposedly coming back Monday at 1pm to buy it all. Then, he takes it to Mexico to sell it. We'll see if he comes by. We want at least $100 for all of our junk combined. That's another $35 for me! Woohoo!

I was home at 1:30PM, and a little bit burnt. I put sunblock on my back, but my arm was hanging out from the umbrella, and got a little pink. It'll be a tan in a few days. I should just lather in sunscreen after I shower. Sigh.

I didn't really do much else for the day. I answered a few emails, played on Facebook (yeah, baby!), watered a garden for a friend who's on vacation, cooked food, watched Harpers Island, took a nap, and prepared for my Sunday lesson. Ok, so that kinda sounds like a lot. But it wasn't crazy busy, so it was nice.

I didn't want to search through my emails for a request, so I just did a quote that I found that I thought was PERFECT! I hope that you like it too :) Click on the link below to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work. Oh yeah. There was a typo on yesterday wordart, and while I thought I'd fixed it yesterday, apparently it didn't "stick". So, it's there now. All fixed and ready to download. Again. Sigh.


Sharon Kay said...

Thank you!! ...and thank you for the marriage lessons!

Could you do a word art for me? We went to Disney World in May for our 25th Wedding Anniversary...

I would like something like "Falling in love with you all over again" ... for the couple pics we had taken in front of the castle!

Pretty please?

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this Freebie. I want to let you know that I posted a link to your blog in Creative Busy Hands Scrapbook Freebies Search List, under the Alpha(s),Font(s), Word Art(s) post on Jun. 28, 2009. Thanks again.

templework said...

Thank you for the BEAUTIFUL word art!!!

Anonymous said...

You have an award on
my blog.
Thank you for all you do!

xashee's corner said...

Thank you so much for ALLLLL that you share, Bethany!! :) i LOVE the pool pix!! what FUN!! Have a BEAUTIFUL weekend!

Anonymous said...

Thank you! Your blog post will be advertised on the DigiFree Digital Scrapbooking Freebie search engine today (look for timestamp: 28 Jun [LA 08:12pm, NY 10:12pm] - 29 Jun [UK 03:12am, OZ 01:12pm] ).