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Thursday, September 30, 2010

I Love You / I'm Sorry

So ever have a day that started out great, and went terribly wrong at some point? Yeah, that was my yesterday....

But it did start off good. I woke up at 6:35am like normal, scriptures, prayers, got somewhat ready, kids at 7:00am, breakfast, ready for school, backpacks, homework, prayer, and out the door at 7:30am.

I re-worked the shopping list, and the menu, and got it all ready to go for the week. New dinners for a few nights, and school lunches for the kids.

I printed out my lists, and checked off what I had and what I still needed. I was ready to go by around 9am. I left Jake in charge of Jimmy, and headed out.

I found all the stuff I needed, and checked out. And saw this SUPER cute wreath in a magazine at the check out line. Andrea and I had made a lima bean one last year. Remember the photo? Or was that in the spring? I can't remember. The white one, with the teal ribbon.

Anyway, I decided that I wanted to make it, and asked a few friends to come over on Friday morning and "play". I planned on going to Hobby Lobby and buying the supplies, then my friends can pay me back. Sounded like a fun plan :) And it's good to do crafty things every once in a while :)

So I came home, and Jake and I put away all the groceries. I got Jimmy to the bus at 10:50 am, and finally at 11:15am, I decided that I needed to get ready to go. Captain America was gonna be home at 11:30am, and we were gonna drive to the West side, have lunch, do our couples counseling at 1pm, then he had his one on one counseling at 2pm. I was gonna go to Hobby Lobby during that hour.

Anyway, here's my picture at 11:15am. See, I needed to do something, and FAST!

So I put on my contacts, re-fixed my hair, put on some makeup, and nicer clothes. Here's me at 11:30am. I'm fast, huh? hehe.
Captain America got home soon after, and he and I headed out. We went to El Taco Tote on the West side, off of Mesa. It was a little more busy than the last time we ate lunch there, but it was still quick. I just LOVE the food :)

After lunch, we drove back to Dr Slades office, and were a few minutes late. But I think he was running behind too, so it was all good. We did our couples meeting, and went over. Captain America only got 30 minutes for his session. So I decided not to go to Hobby Lobby, and just wait in the lobby for Captain America. Cause by the time I got to Hobby Lobby, I'd have to turn around and come back. I'd go on Thursday. It'd be ok.

The doctor had mentioned something to me about my "connections" I make with other people. How they're not deep. How my transient lifestyle plays into that, but that he's not sure why I don't connect deeper with anyone. And it really got me thinking today, and got me down.

A few things that we talked about bothered me. And the day kinda went down from there. And I didn't react well to those feelings, and I know I hurt Captain America's feelings. And I'm sorry. And I don't know how to fix it. And I hope he can forgive me.

So I'm including a Black copy of this WordArt, a Black/Red copy of this WordArt, and the PSD file with 2 layers, linked, for easy recoloring :) Enjoy!

Click on the links below to go to my accounts to download the PNG file, and leave some love if you like my work. Thanks!


Belle said...

The wordart is perfect...because it's true. :) Thanks.

LesleyfromWI said...

Beautiful word art & I love your blog. By the way, super cute outfit!!

Unknown said...

Thanks so much for this wordart, sorry to hear that you had a not so good day. I know that I can take a comment meant in a more general way yet still internalize it as only directed at me, or make the comment mean way more than it actually does. It's a continual process to rethink and not let it bother me so much, so I can relate to your afternoon yesterday.

wesnshan said...

Sweetie...Brent loves you so he will forgive you. I think it's just great that you both care enough about each other and your family and your marriage to get the help that is needed. If when you go to counseling it doesn't begin to stir things up then it's not working. It has to stir up all those feelings and get us to looking at them and dealing with and sharing. You're doing it right...even though it doesn't feel like it. Keeping you and Brent in my prayers, this isn't too big for God! I love this word art today...I am horrible at saying I'm sorry. I definately need to say it first more often.

alison said...

What your doctor said about deep connections--that is really making me think. That's my problem--probably. I see people that have long-term friendships, and can keep them going, etc. And even though I've had fantastic friendships, I let them go. I had a somewhat transient childhood (moved a lot but stayed in the same ward--but the ward was 75% military, so the ward changed a lot too, and then my parents divorce--moving across the country--you get the picture). what did your doctor say about how to fix that? it took me a LONG time to be able to comfortably rely on my husband to be the 'provider' and feel that we could be 'permanent'. i have major issues even being in our house longer than 5 years. maybe its not my surroundings that need to keep changing, maybe i need to be changing what's inside of me.
thanks for sharing--enjoy H.L today!

Sarah said...

Gorgeous Word Art again. Thank you.

You look fab all the time, but especially amazing when you got ready to go out and how quick too.

Counselling can be really hard at times. I've been there with single and couple counselling. Sometimes you walk out feeling on top of the world, other times it feels as if the world's on top of you. I'm sure Brent understands. This is where the love you ave for each other comes into play big time xx

Lorraine aka Scrapmemories said...

Bethany...you are human. The therapy is painful because looking at our selves isn't easy. But what you are doing it tremendous and will reap many rewards in the end. You love each other and will come through this. Hang in there sweetie. Prayers are lifted for your entire family. I applaud your candor. It touches each of us in a very personal way.

Anonymous said...

I think you are a beautiful persona nd with God you will over come anything - Hang in there and know there is a lot of great people out here who have never met you but care about you. - Smile


jhartburnett said...

If it bothers you that your connections are not "deep" enough and you agree with the doctor - it is in your power to change that. Look FORWARD. You can do it! I know, based on what I have read. Never underestimate the power that resides within you. You also have the power of your faith on your side. Use whatever you need to get to where you need to be.

You look good...but a little thin. Take care of yourself!

deb said...

Lovely wordart. May your day today be better.

Rufus said...

The word art that you did today is just right. And so very very true. Just remember that you and Brent love each other and need to keep talking & even more important LISTENING to each other.

Cassie_lu said...

I've had many a days like those and recently too. My depression is trying to work its way back up and it's those days that are the hardest for me. Lots of prayers are coming from me

MouserMo said...

Thank you for your freebies. Link on your post was added to PickleMouse freebie list

Marilou said...

Thank you for the wordart; it's so true!! Hang in there Bethany!!

Tammy said...

I love the word art AND the narrative of your day. And you clean up real pretty, real fast!!! Remember...sometimes saying 'I love you' is that you're working on it! :)

Svr said...

I have been combing through your amazing site. I am not a scrapping guru though. I am a working mom of SIX kiddos. You have peaked my interest in it though. I was actually looking for some goo short scripture word art to put on my walls. You do a very very good job and I feel like I am actually getting to know you through your blog. Great job woman. Keep it up and I really really like this one!!! :o) Thanks and your work is appreciated!!